Who Is In Control Of Your World?

I will start this correspondence with a question, which I am sure everyone will have an answer. Who is in control of your world? This question should be asked often, especially when someone uses excuses for his or her shortfalls. In all my years of listening to people talk about their lives, without fail, they mention how someone else is to blame for their misfortune. When a person sees that their plans are not working out as anticipated, instead of detouring, they continue with the same plan hoping that things will turn around. If your business is not bringing in enough money, why do you sit back, hoping that customers will come through your door without you doing something to attract them? Exercising your brain by working smarter and harder can reap dividends; however, repeating the same regiment without creativity will not produce new results.

What or who do you blame when things are not going well? Whenever the blame game is played, responsibility is shifted or pointed in another direction other than oneself. People blame the economy for failed businesses – which may be true to some extent – but the bulk of the blame for a failed business should be on the owner. When you own a business, this says that you have taken control of your financial future. However, to shirk the responsibility of the results of its failure is pure cowardice. The business owner who takes photographs and signs autographs as the owner of a successful business, will accept little or no blame for his or her business failure. This same principle applies to a failed marriage. Just what does it mean to have irreconcilable differences? I know, it means two people unwilling to fulfill the vows they took on the day they got married. If you are going give an excuse for your marriage falling apart, at least own up to giving the truth concerning why your marriage did not succeed.

In hindsight, people mention how they would do things differently if they were given the chance. In actuality, people have second, third and subsequent occasions during the process of their weak efforts to make corrections and take control before things totally fall apart. However, many are too blind to see how they can right their wrongs because they are too busy looking for a way out of a ship that they can only view as sinking. Unfortunately, second chances do not exist; however, new opportunities do.

When a person sits down in their most comfortable chair in their living room, they usually take control of the universal remote and turn on the television or CD player. They have declared their kingship by sitting on their throne while holding the scepter (remote control) in their hand. They are looking for personal gratification of being entertained while watching television. Like the kings of old, if the king was not amused by the court jester, the king would ask for the next act while sitting on his throne. People have the same experiences everyday to control their world. Our remote control helps us to control the elements before us and we never look to blame anyone while we are in control. If you do not like what is on a particular channel, you change it. No big deal, right? In plain English, what you do not like, you change, because the results are in your control.

Is it fair to say that God is in control of everything concerning your life? No. I am not taking any power away from God because that is impossible, but I am placing the power of your life back into your hands. If God is in control of everything, including your life, then He should be blamed. However, we have to look at life from the standpoint of who is making the decisions for you. Did God have you to overextend yourself financially? Did God sign your name on the loan application? Did God make you buy the things that you truly could not afford? Is God responsible for your procrastination? Did God make you say “I Do” to the person you married? I can go on, but I think you get the message. People, and Christians alike, feel they are genetically predisposed to making excuses and shifting blame away from themselves because our progenitor failed to face up to his failure. According to the Bible, Adam, God’s created son, failed to own up to his blunder and blamed Eve for his sin of disobedience. The principle of first things, is that whatever is in the original (Adam) will show up in the successors. To use this as an excuse for failure is completely absurd.

My attempt is not to give you a Bible lesson. However, I am only pointing out the fallacies that people generally believe, which are not Biblically substantiated. Adam’s rebellion was not based on experiences because he had only known obedience up to the point of his treason. Adam’s disobedience to God was not God’s fault either. Adam’s failure was predicated on the ability to make personal decisions, which he failed to make the right one. The truth of the matter is that you are genetically predisposed to controlling the outcome of your own life. Your fate rests in your hands, not in God’s. Your decisions are your decisions, and no one can take the blame for your personal decisions.

Flip Wilson, the famed hilarious comedian, oftentimes played a character named, Geraldine. Whenever Geraldine did something inappropriate, she would say, “The devil made me do it!” It may be comedic, but it is also crippling. If you do not control your world, your life will be placed in the hands of those who care nothing about you. You will never be allowed to stretch out and explore all the possibilities life has to offer. Refuse to be a slave in your own world!


If you do not know who you are, what will you say when others ask who are you? This is the era of knowing yourself. Knowing who you are will help you to understand your integral design and why you are the way you are. People spend a lot of time trying to figure out who they are and spend little time enjoying what they love. Sometimes, a person’s hobby is the clue to their design. However, many people work so hard at trying to make a living, that living makes trying laborious. Thus, they end up living someone else’s image of themselves hoping that someone will come and inform them of who they really are. This is not a case of amnesia, but a case of lost identity. Lacking the essential identifiable markers causes people to live a vicious cycle of self-defeat and insecurity. Your effort of self-awareness and self-discovery should not only show up as sweat in you undershirt, but in the character you project.

What involuntary image are you projecting? Moreover, while you are trying to protect your image, whose job is it to protect you? Finding your style and learning how to get the right fit for you is an indication that you just may have figured you out. Do you feel as if you are getting closer? When you are comfortable in your own skin, you are not scanning the earth to find someone to agree with your personal self-depiction. You liking you, and knowing yourself is the epiphany of relevancy. Being comfortable with who you are will never feel and look so good.

In life, people experience all kinds of defeats, frustrations and disappointments because of bad choices and mistakes, which seem to assault their confidence. These things are a part of life, and should not be used as weapons to destroy ones self-belief. It is an ongoing battle to prevent self-destruction; and a flawed self-image puts you at an even greater risk of doing so. You must become solid as a rock when it comes to being absolutely, unequivocally certain of your person. If anyone asks for proof of your identity, just tell them that your ID can be found in the way you conduct your life—with character and integrity.
People who are yet searching for a sense of identity usually have integrity problems and character flaws. As these people continue to allow others to define them, they are like Chameleons that changes their color based on their environment. It must be miserable living a life of uncertainty—never knowing who you may be from one day to the next. Change is inevitable, but some things should not change unless it is changing from bad to good. The bone structure of a person never changes, however, the outer tissue (flesh) of the body does. A person should never place more emphasis on the outward appearance than they do on the integral part of their being—their character.

What is your beauty secret? What part of you do you advertise when people meet you? What part of you do you want others to notice the most? As the person looks beyond the outward appearance, what will shine through? Is it your accomplishments; your money and material things; your looks and hairstyle; or your character that will burst into a thousand suns? My friend, the answer is what the beholder sees. The viewer will see exactly what you project. Some things cannot be helped; you will perform whatever qualities you subconsciously want to shine the most. Look at what kind of person you consistently attract to yourself, and your answer will lie therein.

People who love their image (God’s image) will never want to be recognized for anything else. Allow your beautiful self-awareness to shine through as the sun. If you learn to love whom God created you to be, you can learn to love and appreciate who God created others to be. Becoming simply lends itself to uncertainty; just ‘be’ is simple enough! No one truly likes a counterfeit.

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! …happiness losing altitude!

Are you happy? I mean, are you really happy? In this hustle and bustle society, I don’t believe people have the time to think about being happy. Yes, I said it. I do not believe people have the time to be happy. People have no clue to how their minds are searching throughout the day for opportunities where it can relax and enjoy the moment.

Let me make an attempt to define what I believe ‘being happy’ actually means. Happy or happiness is characterized by or indicative of enjoyment, pleasure, contentment, or joy. It is a mood, a frame of mind or a state of being. Being happy is a worry free zone where anxiety has no invitation. Happiness is how you spell RELIEF. There is no place that can imprison a person when they are truly happy with him or herself and has chosen to be stress free. Happy people celebrate life and love to take vacation moments during the course of a day—choosing to be rapture by the moment of enjoyment.

When you are bombarded with problems such as financial, health, job security, family, gossip, etc, your mind is racing one hundred miles per minute trying to find solutions. Our culture does not facilitate long periods of happiness because making a living is our number one priority. We are acclimated to a system that encourages activities of busyness that may not involve real work at all. The old adage is true to this day, “Look busy, even if you’re not.” This mindset robs people of the ability to enjoy their job, especially when one has to engage brainstorming and pondering in order to put things into perspective.

One of the things that can damage your state of happiness is when your happiness is dependent upon others or circumstances that are favorable. There is no doubt that these things can cause you to feel good, but they should not be the root cause to you feeling good vibrations. Most people are aware that there are no anxieties in good fortune. However, there should not be any overall loss of excitement when situations are trying to get the best of you. Perspective is the key to maintaining your state of happiness. If you cannot remedy bad situations, and keep your happy state levels high, then all you have is happenstance. Happenstance is when your happiness is conditional. You cannot control every situation or choose the ones you want to encounter. However, you can control yourself and how you act or react when these circumstances occur.

Don’t Worry! Life Happens! Being Happy is a State of Mind.

Mentorship: Twice the Results, Half the Time

If there is a recipe for disaster, then what is the formula for success? It has been said that there are no certainties in life. However, I believe that there are some certainties out there that are sure to guarantee a particular outcome. Such as, if you jump from the top of a seventy-five foot tall building, you will unequivocally be pulled down by gravity. The worst that can happen to you falling from that height is that you die. The least that could probably occur is that you break every bone in your body.

A person does not have to mix many ingredients together for their life to be in disarray. In fact, if you do nothing, nothing will always be the result of no effort. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the recipe for disaster. There are no extraordinary techniques or certain skill levels required for failure. Inactivity and the lack of preparation will guarantee and secure that one’s future will be one big, fat disappointment. All you will have at the end of your life is wasted talent and misdirected goals. Life is supposed to be filled with accomplishments and fulfillment; not inundated with one blunder after another because of the lack of direction, instruction, and accountability. Embrace accountability and open your eyes to the truth. Your turning point in life will occur when you finally realize that you are responsible for your own life.

Where are you headed? Do you know what direction you are moving in? Are you going wherever the wind blows you? I know the amount of information available today can overload your mind with a canopy of should haves, could haves, wishes, and why didn’t I’s. However, to avoid taking advantage of the “Age of Information” overload is absurd. Simply extract out of the information bank made available to you what you need for your situation and life. Tap into the wisdom of a qualified mentor or knowledgeable friend who has a proven record of accomplishment with his or her own life. Being young and gifted does not automatically make you young and successful. If you do not know what to do with your talents, you will become frustrated with no place to use them. You will be young, gifted and dumb.

However, there is an awesome formula for success; and we would all like to experience it. People are like onions with layers of areas in life, and with challenges that must be successfully accomplished. These layers include personal integrity, family, career, parenting, finances, etc. A person can be successful in one area of life and completely fail miserably at all the other areas of life. It’s not how successful you want your career to be, but how successful you want your life to be. Success requires directions because it is a journey, not a destination. Success is not the finale, but the accomplishments while on the path toward the attainment of a goal. Success is not one episode, but a series. Success is not a chapter; it is a book with chapters. Success is not absent of blunders and failures, but a combination of accomplishments, blunders, achievements, failures, disappointments, thrills, frustrations, and triumphs. These are all a part of the ingredients that make success so sweet.

Your input is vital to your success. More importantly, it is what you put into it, which qualifies you to enjoy what you receive from it.