What’s Right With You?

Gauge Yourself
Gauge Yourself
Have you ever been disturbed with your actions and said, “What’s wrong with me!?” Well, this is the usual response when a person is disappointed in their performance. When you know you could have done better, you shouldn’t downgrade yourself if your performance was not as good as your last. However, you should examine the degree of your effort. This is not a bad place to be, but rather a great disposition to exhibit. It is not how things turned out that caused your distress; it’s what you said after you saw the results. Instead of asking yourself what’s wrong with you, ask yourself what’s right with you.


You can be at a great station in life, and never recognize the blessing of being there when you are totally engaged with the result. How much are you giving in the effort, depends on the passion you have for what you doing.

If you have come up short after putting forth a mediocre effort, or you have attempted something without fully believing you could do it, the results were in your effort. This applies to careers, school, sports, and life in general. Your concern shouldn’t be mainly in the results after your effort, but rather at the end of the effort you put forth. To the onlooker, the results matters the most, but the effort ought to speak volumes to the person who exerts him or herself.

It’s all about the climb; the journey, the fight, and the exertion. The award is simply a trophy that you can place on your mantle, however, realizing the mental strength one discovers or the physical shape a person develops or the creativeness a person was able to unleash, is the reward that benefits the individual the most. The award is far less in value than the personal reward. The award is the result of the accolades of people, but the reward is the enjoyment of the exertion of overcoming the personal struggle to finish.

Think of all the things that are right with you and do not place a major focus on your negatives. The negatives can change into the positives as you change your perspective of them so that you will exert yourself with all fervor.

You have all the right things stuffed down inside of you; it’s just that sometimes your expectations don’t quite match up to your true ability. Oftentimes, this happens when we have a propensity to measure ourselves by someone else. You are designed as a beautiful specimen; a masterpiece. Why would you fractionally use your creative ability based on someone else’s ability? Get out of the comparing mode and stop competing with others. Why be concerned with how others may feel if you don’t quite hit the home run in life. What others may want from you is usually what they don’t expect out of themselves.

Be your own gauge! Whatever your field of expertise is, don’t prepare yourself based on what others may have achieved. Don’t even consider giving your best effort, which is usually predicated on just above minimum requirement. The idea of effectively becoming unattached from the results is emptying yourself during your effort. When you know you have nothing left in you after you have exerted yourself because of your passion, or love for whatever it is you do, your climb will be worth more than the accolades from others.

It always amazes me how most people are so preoccupied with the potential results when they have not even begun the effort. Before you begin anything, you should ask yourself, “Am I ready to be totally engaged in my effort to develop myself, or am I just interested in taking the shortcuts so that I can get a satisfactory result for little personal investment?” Your priority should not be the results, your priority should be the passion required to exert yourself to the max.

You cannot work it out until you out work yourself.


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The Proof Is In The Pudding!

Drawing the Line in the SandIn this present generation, many people are finding themselves emotionally ripped and torn by their attachments, which is the common root for their pain and frustrations. It’s not as much as what others have done to them; as much as it is as to what they are doing to themselves. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Oftentimes, our suffering comes from our attachments to things, people, and personal desires. You can be at a place that you want something so bad to happen, that you don’t realize that you’re mental and sometimes physical suffering occurred because you wanted something to happen for all the wrong reasons.


Your life is at its finest when you become entrenched and completely invested in the effort but unattached to the results. This is the place when you are intimate with your personal power because you realize that the expedition and the exertion are important. There is a place that you arrive at where you draw a line in the sand that you must let go of that something that has to lead you to a new position or it has to lead to a certain person loving you or it has to lead to making a lot of money. When your desires are discombobulated or targeted towards you feeling better about yourself, you actually become disempowered by making the goal the consummate.

I believe the goal has to do with the process itself. In reality, the end is inherited in the means. Who you are when you are putting forth the effort is more important than what you want to become at the end of your effort. If you are totally convince that you left nothing in you after your effort, how can you not be content with the outcome. I love what Mahatma Gandhi said, “Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.”

All of us have gone through external assessments of wanting our marriage to turn out a certain way, our children becoming successful, our business succeeding, etc. Dr. Brown, are you suggesting that we should be completely unattached from this desire? you might be thinking. I know you feel that if you are unattached, you will stop working hard or you will no longer put out energy because where there is no concern there is no drive. Unattached doesn’t mean uncommitted.

Allow me to explain this process in a way that a layman can understand. When you become unattached, that doesn’t make you out to be a person who no longer cares about winning, or getting ahead in life or wanting your children to succeed. People think that if you think without ambition, that would be chaotic. However, I can substantiate that it is just the opposite. In other words, when you give up attachments, you will settle into a calm peaceful mentality where you are enjoying the process. This, of course, doesn’t mean you have removed your hands from the controls as though the results have no validity. It points to the fact that you understand that true results may not be what you envisioned. You are simply convinced that the true result of what God wanted for you is the quintessential of the true effort exerted by you.

What we think is our deep effort to make something happen, is actually meddling where we get in the way of something happening far greater than if our personal might was involved. The fact that you are attached to a relationship going a certain way actually sabotages the relationship. This is more likely to make you needy, jealous, demanding or pushy. This persona is not attractive, but rather repulsive. The only true control you can exert is when someone can trust you enough to talk with you. Then and only then are others allowed to own their space in your presence without feeling as though you are trying to manipulate them into thinking that you own it.

The idea of giving up your attachments has to be understood or else you will think that when one has no attachments, it shouldn’t equal any effort. In fact, letting go is that your only effort is your best effort. Your results are in your effort; not in how something or someone responds to you. You are not leaving the results up to fate; you are letting others decide without you manipulating them to move in your favor.

You cannot make people love you, but you can love yourself enough where their lack of love for you doesn’t bother you one bit. What you believe to be so is your RESULT!


** I would like to hear from you.
Please write your comments below on how this article helped you. Use the Media Buttons to share with your friends.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1930388144&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0983841578&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1453619232&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.