What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

The Dominant Quality In Leaders Of Distinction

MB Text 8-14-2015 (Leadership Qualities)It’s no secret that corporations look for prolific leaders to drive the corporate success van. This means putting the right person in the right role and surrounding that person with the right personnel. By doing so, corporate decision makers can increase the chances of producing a profit for its investors and show significant growth by the end of the year. So, what should their question be before starting their hunt for such a person(s)?

The primary question should not be, “Who is a difference maker?” Rather, it should be, “What qualities make one a difference maker?” Once this is established, the manhunt can begin since the search will narrow in on qualities rather than a person. Many mistakes have been made by people in search of the one person they believe can help change things for them or their team. Whether corporate or personal, judging and sizing up a person based on their present condition, or outward appearance, may prove to be impractical.

People who possess qualities which make them stand out aren’t as easily discernable. One reason, is they are not ambitious, nor do they have need of a title to define them. You may find a person who knows how to say the right words and is an over achiever, but lacks discipline and integrity. The person who is truly a difference maker is more interested in the quality of their work, than their work looking as though it has quality.

Let me explain what I consider to be an attribute. An attribute is a quality or characteristic of someone or something which gives credit for things such as a body of work, art, or a saying. An attribute can be considered a standard or conviction which causes a person to stand out. Imagine being in the company of difference makers who care about making a difference in society and in the lives of others.

What do you have when an entire team of people with difference maker qualities come together? What you have is a winning combination who can never be defeated. A difference maker is someone who is willing and able to fill all aspects of their role with confidence, who consistently delivers on objectives, and who follows or leads their team to peak performance. They understand their role is as essential as the next man’s. In many cases, a difference maker shakes things up, brings forth change, and demands results from themselves and their colleagues. They aren’t interested in being popular; they want success for the company or team even if it means not leading. With this attitude they will hit their targets and inspire their teams to do the same.

Difference makers are self-motivated. Difference makers are honest, they don’t cover up mistakes, and they are completely accountable for what works and what doesn’t work. They take full responsibility for their actions and results. You can’t tell if these people are difference makers by looking at them; their qualities are exposed by interacting with them. They are proactive, solution-oriented, and take-action people. Their values align with those of their organization or team, and these values drive day-to-day behaviors to pursue excellence.

How does a company, small business, or individual find a Difference Maker? Well, you can’t find them in the Yellow Pages. In the brawl for gifted able bodies, the challenges most organizations face are not limited to the simple unavailability of competent people. The hiring process is not set up to properly identify those who can truly make a difference. Focusing only on the skills and experience needed, the interviewer often pays too little attention to values, motivations, habits, work styles, behaviors, and cognitive abilities. Stop qualifying a person for where your company presently is, and start looking for those individuals who may not have all the skills, but who are willing to be molded into the person you need, not just want. Don’t look for the mate who completes you, look for the person who complements you.

Companies should design employment programs to become mentors to their employees instead of employers. Difference Makers are developed into their role not fit into it.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.