Breaking The Cycle of Average

Breaking the cycle of average textHere is a line from the movie Sister Act II, starring Whoopi Goldberg, which served as a motivation for me to thrive in life; “If you want to be somebody, and you want go somewhere… you better wake up and pay attention.”

There is a very large class of people in society that you want to stay as far away from their influence as possible unless you want to be a part of them. Whether you heard of this group or not, the most important thing about this group is that you do not want to be a part of it. People in this group are not necessarily bad people, but if anyone from this group has your undivided attention, they may be a deterrent to your progress. This consortium of people is commonly known as ‘The Average 90.’ This is a group of people who may be stuck in a box without any desire or passion to break out of it. They avoid risk, abandon conflict, and run from any challenge that requires more than a mediocre effort.

Are you the kind of person who will give that little extra to achieve more than what the average person can accomplish? Average people live in the shadow of excellence—always admiring the achievements of others who are not as gifted, but apparently more daring. You don’t have to be the smartest or strongest person to achieve greatness. Have you noticed that the cleverest people in school are usually not those who are the most successful or who leave their mark on life? If you want to be better than what you presently are, you must do things differently or better than others whose standard is ‘just enough to get by’.

Aim beyond what you think you are capable of achieving. Challenge yourself to develop a total disregard for where your abilities end, and turn enthusiasm into the energy that moves you beyond your fears. Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you. You might succeed if nobody else believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself.

The difference between the average 90 and the uncommon 10 is that the average 90 will wait for opportunities to be exposed, while the uncommon 10 will create them. It takes perseverance to break away from the mediocre and to do something other than what most people are willing to do, which is to get a job…a job that pays them below their skill level. However, this person’s mindset may just be minimum wage. Isn’t it ironic that a person can be so talented and gifted, but their personal drive is like the power of a gas operated scooter and not that of a Ferrari.

Have you ever been at a point in life when you wanted to give up, throw in the towel, and quit for the rest of your life? Remember as children, when we played baseball and we failed to catch the ball, or being embarrassed at school for liking someone who didn’t like you? How about when you felt you were the most qualified for a position on your job but you were passed over because you just blended in? All of these, and more, real-life scenarios have been used as the culprit for quitting, or becoming stagnated, where you no longer gave a hundred percent effort.

Life is about always moving forward, no matter what—it’s not becoming stagnated by some emotional letdown like a child having a temper tantrum when something doesn’t work out the way you planned it. Finding excuses for quitting at life or giving up on your dream will give most people immediate access to depression and anxiety, which oftentimes, leads to self-destruction. However, those who have a resolve in their heart realize that quitting is not an option. Disappointments, frustrations, and failures, are all a part of life. Unfortunately, we cannot always escape these life factors, because while we are learning how to live, we are also learning how to succeed at whatever is before us. These life lessons inevitably lead to mistakes. How you deal with your errors will either demonstrate your mental stability and your inner strength, or the lack thereof.

For life to work in its most simplistic form, a person must understand that it takes wisdom to fast forward, intelligence to pause, integrity of strength to play, but foolishness to go backwards. If you can wrap your head around these for components, which can help in some way to make sense out of life, then you just might discover that the purpose of life really does make a lot of sense. You were not designed to be average.

No one comes into this world and begins life counting backwards by years, months, weeks, and days. All of humanity is designed for forward mobility, and we start, not at one, but at start. A person cannot set goals for the days they’ve already lived; they can only set goals for days that have not yet been lived. This suggests that there is a Mastermind and Designer who created us to live forward, not to die in backward mode.

Do yourself a favor and rid your mind of mediocrity. Examine your efforts, challenge your strength and intelligence, and take the limits of being average and throw it as far away from you as possible. Refuse to accept what life throws at you, like most people do, and throw at life what direction you believe God has designed you to go.

I understand that it is your life to do with as you please; however, it is not your right to make other people feel guilty because they don’t want to live their lives alongside yours. It is difficult to follow a parked car. If you are not going anywhere in life and your movement is synchronized with those who are average, can you please move out of the way so others can get by you without the possibility of tripping over you? If you want to waste your time, why would I want to give you the opportunity of wasting mine?

To break away from the norm you have been traveling, you have to move through the crowd of people to create your own path. People of destiny will make life happen; average people will wait for life to happen.

Jesus said, “If they compel you to go one mile, go two.”

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

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The Dominant Quality In Leaders Of Distinction

MB Text 8-14-2015 (Leadership Qualities)It’s no secret that corporations look for prolific leaders to drive the corporate success van. This means putting the right person in the right role and surrounding that person with the right personnel. By doing so, corporate decision makers can increase the chances of producing a profit for its investors and show significant growth by the end of the year. So, what should their question be before starting their hunt for such a person(s)?

The primary question should not be, “Who is a difference maker?” Rather, it should be, “What qualities make one a difference maker?” Once this is established, the manhunt can begin since the search will narrow in on qualities rather than a person. Many mistakes have been made by people in search of the one person they believe can help change things for them or their team. Whether corporate or personal, judging and sizing up a person based on their present condition, or outward appearance, may prove to be impractical.

People who possess qualities which make them stand out aren’t as easily discernable. One reason, is they are not ambitious, nor do they have need of a title to define them. You may find a person who knows how to say the right words and is an over achiever, but lacks discipline and integrity. The person who is truly a difference maker is more interested in the quality of their work, than their work looking as though it has quality.

Let me explain what I consider to be an attribute. An attribute is a quality or characteristic of someone or something which gives credit for things such as a body of work, art, or a saying. An attribute can be considered a standard or conviction which causes a person to stand out. Imagine being in the company of difference makers who care about making a difference in society and in the lives of others.

What do you have when an entire team of people with difference maker qualities come together? What you have is a winning combination who can never be defeated. A difference maker is someone who is willing and able to fill all aspects of their role with confidence, who consistently delivers on objectives, and who follows or leads their team to peak performance. They understand their role is as essential as the next man’s. In many cases, a difference maker shakes things up, brings forth change, and demands results from themselves and their colleagues. They aren’t interested in being popular; they want success for the company or team even if it means not leading. With this attitude they will hit their targets and inspire their teams to do the same.

Difference makers are self-motivated. Difference makers are honest, they don’t cover up mistakes, and they are completely accountable for what works and what doesn’t work. They take full responsibility for their actions and results. You can’t tell if these people are difference makers by looking at them; their qualities are exposed by interacting with them. They are proactive, solution-oriented, and take-action people. Their values align with those of their organization or team, and these values drive day-to-day behaviors to pursue excellence.

How does a company, small business, or individual find a Difference Maker? Well, you can’t find them in the Yellow Pages. In the brawl for gifted able bodies, the challenges most organizations face are not limited to the simple unavailability of competent people. The hiring process is not set up to properly identify those who can truly make a difference. Focusing only on the skills and experience needed, the interviewer often pays too little attention to values, motivations, habits, work styles, behaviors, and cognitive abilities. Stop qualifying a person for where your company presently is, and start looking for those individuals who may not have all the skills, but who are willing to be molded into the person you need, not just want. Don’t look for the mate who completes you, look for the person who complements you.

Companies should design employment programs to become mentors to their employees instead of employers. Difference Makers are developed into their role not fit into it.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

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Handle Your Business And Make Life Happen

MB Text 5-24-2015 1(Handle Your Business)How do you handle being offended? Are you easily offended by the truth, unsolicited advice or offended by a lie? How you handle an offense is most likely how you handle everything else in life. Oftentimes, when a person struggles with offense it is demonstrative of a lack of character.

Some people think they are strong and can handle correction or misfortune, but in most cases, their skin is slightly thicker than a thin veneer of cosmetic make-up. I learned early on that life is full of rules, policies, and systems. When any of these have been violated or misappropriated, correction has to be made by the violators if they want their lives to turn for the good. You won’t always get things right the first time, but you have to keep working at it until the correct system or pattern for doing something is discovered.

There are no shortages of opportunities to make a living at what you love; there’s only a deficiency of resolve to make it happen. It’s odd how people can get upset with everyone around them when they struggle with trying to accomplish something, as if everyone else is the chief cause of them getting something wrong.

Allen Iverson, one of the NBA’s great small guards, said that after making bad choices as a young NBA star, and no other team wanting him after he was released from his previous team, he penalized his children and wife as if they were the reasons for all his misfortune. In other words, he treated them badly because he found himself offended by other people’s rejection of his lifestyle, thinking he would be more of a hindrance than a help to their teams.

Sometimes, people carry in their minds a sense of entitlement because of their talents or abilities. They act or behave however they please, as if there are no consequences and others have to concede to them because of their ability to perform well in their gifted areas. Get over yourself! There are thousands of people who can do exactly what you can do, if not better. Balance your emotions and target your anger in the right direction. Make the necessary adjustments and refocus your efforts to not just develop your skills, but your character as well.

Never let life, or others’ opinions, impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. On the other hand, don’t be closed to correction and advice which can help you overcome the hurdles of pride and a false sense of confidence. Dig deeper into your dreams and deeper into yourself. Believe that anything is possible, and make it happen. This cannot, and will never happen, until you learn how life works. You cannot break the rules and expect the status quo to become your own opinion. You’ll never win at life if you don’t know how to play by the rules.

Just because you are struggling, it does not mean you are failing. Every great success requires some type of struggle to get there, even if it’s just learning something you were never trained to do. If you sit back and never do anything, you will never achieve anything. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed on your first, second, third…or fiftieth attempt. All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and do it again, until you learn the correct way of doing it.

Accomplishing something brings a good feeling, but achieving it after you almost gave in to failure, or when nobody else thought you could accomplish it, brings an awesome feeling.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

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Don’t Half Live Your Dream

MB_text_3-13-15I’ve discovered that Success is not a simple matter; it cannot be determined merely by the amount of money and material possessions you have. Things can make you happy temporarily, but they are a poor substitute for inner peace and happiness. To achieve one’s ultimate purpose should be one’s earthly pursuits.

We all want to be happy and successful, especially financially. We work at it. We strive for it. We know it when we have it, and we know when we are not happy. It seems so elusive sometimes. We often seek happiness in all the wrong places. We run to substitutes for happiness that often makes us feel even more unhappy.

A millionaire who is not personally content with his or her life is not truly successful. I do not mean that if you have a billion dollars you cannot be considered a success however, we usually make the mistake of thinking that happiness is related somehow to our financial condition, or we think if our circumstances get better, we will be happy.

Happiness has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances. Two people with identical circumstances can have vastly dissimilar levels of contentment. One is happy and the other is not. You can have a bias for depression or a bias for happiness. When you get up each morning you will make a pre-decision for or against happiness.

Every person who succeeds in life does so by persevering in the face of adversity and by continually applying themselves to their vision. No one comes into this earth with their talents and abilities fully functional, but instead they dedicate years of their lives to developing them. Faith is a necessity for your purpose to come to fruition. Remember, faith doesn’t make things easy, it makes things possible.

When you are fed a steady diet of cynicism and skepticism, it may be hard to speak anything positive. This constant intake of negativity affects your perspective and your communication. The way you see things is what you come to believe about them.

If you are progressive in your thinking, then always enduring and overcoming challenges is the evolution of your unadulterated self. You are more powerful when you know who you are, and you are then more courageous. Once you conquer one mountain, you will know that another one stands in your way. Every time you have a top of the mountain experience, you then find yourself at the bottom of another mountain. Life is full of challenges, and dreams make the journey that much more pleasurable when achieved.

The key to living your dream is meeting limited circumstances with thoughts without limits. It’s not about how little you have; it is about the amazing things you can do with what you do have. Jesus turned 2 fish and five loaves of bread into a full course meal for 5,000 men, and He fed 4,000 with 7 loaves of bread and fish. It’s not about how much you have; it is about God’s ability residing in you to multiply what you have.

Stake claim to your dream and stop haphazardly pursuing something you were created to do. The present moment is the only time there is. No matter what time it is, both the past and future exist when you bring them into your present moment. You can decide to live your life from your past pain or you can live forward. Understand this moment, NOW! Now is the accepted time, not tomorrow. There’s nothing more powerful than a person who knows how to contain and control their personal power and not let it seep out.

Every time the present moment is ignored, there is enormous loss; and every time the present moment is seized there is immense gain. If a person advances with self-confidence in the direction of his or her dreams, and believes they are possible, and endeavors to live the life which he or she has imagined, they will meet with uncommon success at an unforeseen hour.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

How To Make A Monster First Impression

08-10-14-blog-postHumans are creatures of habits, and unfortunately many of these habits are undetectable and often unintentional. How many times have you been informed not to judge a book by its cover, only to feel helpless in trying to prevent such a prejudgment? In a nutshell, prejudice is actually judging the contents of the book by reviewing the cover.

There is a difference between judgment and prejudice. A judgment is the process of forming an opinion or making a decision that is based on careful thought and consideration. However, prejudice is an unfair preconceived adverse opinion or inclination formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge is acquired, which breeds feelings of an irrational attitude or a hostility of dislike directed toward a person or group because of physical appearance, race, religion, association, etc.

When going into an interview and/or meeting someone for the first time, it is important to remember that you most likely have the same bad habits of judging people before ever getting to know them. So, think of the fact that people have a propensity to make snap judgments, and they make them incredibly fast and find them difficult to change.

First impressions are from 100 milliseconds to three seconds max, and this initial impression has a tendency to cling to the cerebral cortex of the brain. This is the outer layer of the frontal parts of the brains cerebral hemispheres. Its functions include the perception of sensations, learning, reasoning, and memory. In other words, first impressions are extremely sticky. First impressions are like mud thrown against a white wall—it may not always stick to the wall, but it will leave a stain.

Imagine wearing the hat of a job interviewer and meeting Frankenstein for the first time coming in for a job interview. Your company is hiring for a Head Security position, but the criteria for the position is vague and not written out well. Your secretary feels slightly intimidated by the size and appearance of Frankenstein standing in front of her as she calls you on the intercom to let you know your next interview is ready. You ask your secretary about any additional forms Frankenstein may have brought to the interview. You slightly whisper, “How does he look?” She sounds vague because he’s standing in front of her. She replies, Sir, can I bring him in now?” Your reply is “Yes bring him in.” Well, as your secretary opens your office door, you rise to greet your interviewee and you find yourself having to fight to keep from starring at him, even though you know you are to look him in the eyes. In this case, the interviewer has nothing to be concerned about, but the interviewee does.

How do you properly and aptly make a good, or if possible, a great impression when meeting a person of the opposite sex, a new business contact or a job interviewer? Think of this, can Frankenstein reduce his height? Can he change how big his hands or feet are? Is he able to remove the electrical receptacles on his neck? No, he cannot change any of those physical attributes; but, he can accept who he is and strongly believe in what he is capable of doing. With this belief firmly set in his mind and heart, he will be able to address any person without any intrinsic apprehensions about his physicality.

Apply these few tips and advice I’m offering Frankenstein who is looking to improve his initial impression on the interviewer. These few suggestions apply to practically anyone, and just about any situation. Here are a few of my personal, yet professional insights:

1. Don’t ignore the elephant in the room.

You are the elephant and you should be completely aware, by now, of some of the misgivings people have when they initially meet you. Usually people won’t initially see you the way you see yourself. So, you should always have an opening line when people notice the obvious about you. For instance: I recall meeting a young man who was about 6’8 and of a slender build. I immediately asked him the obvious question, “Do you play basketball?” “That’s often a misconception people have about me,” he said with a smile. His reply for a young man was not only comical but it relieved my own apprehension.

Frankenstein doesn’t have to make a circus out of his physicality, but he should be secure enough about himself to realize he has an advantage interviewing for a Head Security position. Once the initial 3 seconds have passed, opening his mouth to articulate his intelligence about the position would usually be what will cause the interviewer’s perception to immediately change to a more favorable consideration.

By Frankenstein presenting his initial line with a smile, and intelligently answering the interviewer’s questions by articulating his thoughts concerning his capabilities, and how he can help organize security for the company, will usually works to diffuse any apprehensions the interviewer might have. The interviewer will feel comfortable, relax his walls of pre-judgment, and most likely, select Frankenstein for the Head Security position.

2. Let them talk first but you should always have the last word.

Frankenstein should turn off all impulses to speak about his abilities and accomplishments until asked. Even when he is asked about his skills, he should have a mentally prepared way of communicating what his skills are without going into a long dissertation. You want the interviewer to trust you, so help them to trust that you are a good listener. The interviewer should always be given the floor by the interviewee.

When the interviewer is practically done with his series of questions, the interviewer will usually ask if you have any questions. Frankenstein should always have a question, even if he feels most of his concerns were answered. A question shows your interest in the position and your willingness to learn more about the company’s agenda. Your last words before exiting the interviewer’s office should demonstrate a kind gesture of thanks and appreciation. One quick note: make sure your eye contact is subtle not a wide-eyed staring which can cause the interviewer to feel uncomfortable.

3. Become a chameleon.

Maintain the speed of the interviewer when communicating. If the interviewer speaks slowly, slow your speech down slightly to match the speech pattern of the interviewer. If the interviewer speaks with a sense of energy, put some oomph in your talk. If the interviewer speaks a little fast, try speaking a little faster than your norm, but not so fast that you’re tripping over your words.

People like people who are like themselves. When they are excited, you display excitement, when they seem melancholy, you become sympathetic but uplifting. You’ll be surprised how slightly mimicking a person in an initial meeting will cause them to feel quite comfortable around you. You never, however, want to appear as if you are competing or that you are a threat to their position. Pay attention to those ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ when you are speaking, as they are usually fillers when you are reaching for words. These two little fillers can cause you to sound uninformed or as if you are making something up. Stay a notch lower than the interviewer so that after the interview they can’t wait to speak to everyone about their interview with you. Before you know it, everyone in the company will be looking forward to meeting you…though you haven’t yet been notified that you have the job.

My advice to Frankenstein is not at all condescending but simple and serving in nature: Who can forget a monster with wit, intelligence, and a sense of humor?

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Trying is Unacceptable

unacceptable200I have spent the better part of my life working to better the lives of people, reaching the up and out to the down and out, helping rocky marriages and helping to launch rocketing careers. I have seen my share of both challenges and treaties, defeats and triumphs. Throughout them all, nothing can replace the accelerating feeling of being a part of helping someone finally reach the apex of their abilities.

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