What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Get What Life is Holding For You

life-200What do you believe life is really about? Regardless of your religious affiliation, your thoughts about life and what it holds for you is absolutely important for you to know in order to get it right; otherwise, very little will ever go right for you. Sometimes, people have the craziest notion about life, which keeps them searching for all the wrong things in all the wrong places. Did you ever stop to think you could be in the right place searching for the wrong things? You will never find wrong in right, unless you are right about being wrong.

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Mastering The Human Psyche

I consider myself to be a student of life, and because of that, I have studied different principles that exist in this earthly realm that have propelled people to succeed in life. One amazing truth that I have realized is that people who seem to be the most talented and intelligent don’t necessarily outperform those who are less talented. Rather, it is the people with the greatest desire to follow-through with their dream that excel the most.

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A Revolutionary Reaction

Change is inevitable. Change is durable. Everything is subjected to change. Change is a powerful agent because it has the ability to stage-manage all forms of structures, including the human body. Where change is not forced, but left to its own judgment, it reduces the quality of things to its lowest common characteristic.

God gave to man the ability to monitor change, to slow down its progress or to speed it up. For instance, aging and death is inevitable, but maintaining good health slows the aging process and possibly defers death for a time. In other words, good health, due to eating right and exercise is the slowest possible rate of death. Imagine what happens to the human body when exercise is abandon and eating right is discarded; the body slowly deteriorates and the rate of death accelerates. Well, this is what happens to our finances. Our money problems cannot be fixed left to its own. Anything left to its own weakness will eventually be devoured by the devastating power of change to reduce its quality to its lowest possible condition.

Forcing change to increase the probability of something changing for the better takes a well thought-out and calculated effort on the part of the individual. Ignoring bills will not make them go away, but acknowledging them and attacking their onslaught of attack, will weaken its defenses. When bills are dealt with and paid, one payment at a time, despite the amount, it neutralizes their effects.

You have the ability and authority to impinge upon change the direction you want it to go. Impose your will onto your negative financial situation. Making calls to your creditors and informing them of what you will do, will cause them to negotiate with you because they want their money. Do not be intimidated about writing all your bills down on a sheet of paper. Moreover, do not avoid any of them despite how shocked you are with the amount you owe. Remember, it not how much you owe that matters, what matters is how much you own. When you owe, it creates a deficit, paying off what you owe generates an asset.

I also believe that if you act poor, then you must believe you are. Believing is more important than knowledge. How you see yourself and your situation will certainly become the lifestyle you will live. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Change the mental photograph you have in your mind of your finances, marriage, or education and watch your world begin to change. Now, please understand, trying this is not a full commitment to doing it. If you only attempt to test and see if it works than all you will produce is a warped concept of an unclassified imagination. Good habits will attract good things. Bad habits attract bad things.

You can give more, live more, do more and become more then you ever thought, if you will only believe more! Start Believing TODAY!

Have you taken a close look inside yourself?

Have you taken a close look inside yourself to see who and what kind of person you really are? Are you completely happy with your life and the direction it is going? Are you living in the present with regrets of your past? If you owned a successful small business and there was no room for error in hiring the right personnel, and the position demanded the pay of a million dollars annually, would you feel confident in hiring yourself? You would be surprised at how few people trust themselves with someone else’s things. Of course, no one wants to be responsible for losing another person’s most prized possession. However, consider what it says about a person who does not trust him or herself with another person’s things. Being irresponsible does not exempt a person from having to be responsible. The road to success is filled with you carrying the stuff others have poured into you; and you are expected to live the results of your mentors’ great information. People are born with the responsibility of living God’s plan for their lives. Your life is a gift from God, and the success you make out of your life is your gift to God. Paraphrasing what the Bible says, “If you cannot take care of what belongs to another man, how can God trust you with what is your own?” The engine that drives you to success is passion and persistence. Without it, you have nothing which can take you nowhere.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

-Calvin Coolidge.