What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

The Dominant Quality In Leaders Of Distinction

MB Text 8-14-2015 (Leadership Qualities)It’s no secret that corporations look for prolific leaders to drive the corporate success van. This means putting the right person in the right role and surrounding that person with the right personnel. By doing so, corporate decision makers can increase the chances of producing a profit for its investors and show significant growth by the end of the year. So, what should their question be before starting their hunt for such a person(s)?

The primary question should not be, “Who is a difference maker?” Rather, it should be, “What qualities make one a difference maker?” Once this is established, the manhunt can begin since the search will narrow in on qualities rather than a person. Many mistakes have been made by people in search of the one person they believe can help change things for them or their team. Whether corporate or personal, judging and sizing up a person based on their present condition, or outward appearance, may prove to be impractical.

People who possess qualities which make them stand out aren’t as easily discernable. One reason, is they are not ambitious, nor do they have need of a title to define them. You may find a person who knows how to say the right words and is an over achiever, but lacks discipline and integrity. The person who is truly a difference maker is more interested in the quality of their work, than their work looking as though it has quality.

Let me explain what I consider to be an attribute. An attribute is a quality or characteristic of someone or something which gives credit for things such as a body of work, art, or a saying. An attribute can be considered a standard or conviction which causes a person to stand out. Imagine being in the company of difference makers who care about making a difference in society and in the lives of others.

What do you have when an entire team of people with difference maker qualities come together? What you have is a winning combination who can never be defeated. A difference maker is someone who is willing and able to fill all aspects of their role with confidence, who consistently delivers on objectives, and who follows or leads their team to peak performance. They understand their role is as essential as the next man’s. In many cases, a difference maker shakes things up, brings forth change, and demands results from themselves and their colleagues. They aren’t interested in being popular; they want success for the company or team even if it means not leading. With this attitude they will hit their targets and inspire their teams to do the same.

Difference makers are self-motivated. Difference makers are honest, they don’t cover up mistakes, and they are completely accountable for what works and what doesn’t work. They take full responsibility for their actions and results. You can’t tell if these people are difference makers by looking at them; their qualities are exposed by interacting with them. They are proactive, solution-oriented, and take-action people. Their values align with those of their organization or team, and these values drive day-to-day behaviors to pursue excellence.

How does a company, small business, or individual find a Difference Maker? Well, you can’t find them in the Yellow Pages. In the brawl for gifted able bodies, the challenges most organizations face are not limited to the simple unavailability of competent people. The hiring process is not set up to properly identify those who can truly make a difference. Focusing only on the skills and experience needed, the interviewer often pays too little attention to values, motivations, habits, work styles, behaviors, and cognitive abilities. Stop qualifying a person for where your company presently is, and start looking for those individuals who may not have all the skills, but who are willing to be molded into the person you need, not just want. Don’t look for the mate who completes you, look for the person who complements you.

Companies should design employment programs to become mentors to their employees instead of employers. Difference Makers are developed into their role not fit into it.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

It Takes Everything To Win!

It Takes Everything To Win!
It Takes Everything To Win!
In my many years of studying personal human behavior, I have discovered that a person, in and of himself, cannot determine how far they can go or how much they can take. Neither, can they determine the extent to which they are willing to sacrifice, without something or someone coercing them to either their breaking point, or their refusal to break point. When you are pushed and shoved to exceed your personal limits, it demonstrates how your personal boundaries are not necessarily determined by you, as much as by your willingness to triumph against the person or challenge that is poised to conquer you.


Your internal drive and determination to win in life, sports, or business is not accelerated by the limits you have set, but by the challenge that pushes you to reposition the line of your capability, just to overcome. This is usually the story behind every great person who discovered that the boundary they set was only established because they had no opponent or challenge to impel them to reestablish their limits.

There can be no victories without encountering conflict. Whoever concedes to the pressures of life or the abilities of their competitor, cannot exceed the limits they have personally set for themselves.

As I watched game seven of the NBA 2013 Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat, I saw both teams display resilience and mental toughness throughout the course of the game. My thought was that a loss on either side would come down to one individual breaking down during the last seconds of the game. I thought the person that mentally breaks down and creates mistakes would not be a person who is not a good player, but one who has not consistently played well throughout the series. Unfortunately, that player was Manu Ginobili. The collage of negative thoughts that bombard a person after a poor performance, whether in life, sports or business, has but one aim—and that aim is to discourage and batter you until you find yourself rehearsing the mistakes that you are so desperately trying not to repeat.

Whether a team wins or loses, it is still a team. However, the individual role player on that team who isn’t mentally hungry and composed enough to want to do anything and everything to win, will allow their opponent to push them to move their mental and physical limitation, and they are just as responsible for the team’s loss as the team itself.

I heard LeBron James in an interview after winning the seventh game of the NBA 2013 Finals say, “The Spurs are a great team that pushed us to new limits.” In a nutshell, what LeBron James was saying was that his internal hunger to defeat the San Antonio Spurs became more intense during the game. It made him play smarter and harder than he’s ever played, dig deeper inside himself than he’s ever internally dug, and fight harder than he’s ever fought before.

My friend, this is what champions are made of. You will never realize how great you can be until you become hungrier to succeed than you are fearful to fail.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, commet your thoughts below.

In The Company of Difference Makers

What are the quilites of “difference makers” and how can you find them for your business. Discover how people with this attibute can help your business.

A Difference Maker
A Difference Maker
It’s no secret that corporations look for prolific leaders to drive the corporate success van, so that means putting the right person in the right role and surrounding that person with the right personnel. By doing so, corporate decision makers can increase the chances of producing a profit for its investors and show significant growth by the end of the year. So, what should their question be before starting their hunt for such a person(s)? Continue reading “In The Company of Difference Makers”

Managing Your Emotions (Pt.2)

If you have not read Part One of this article, I suggest you read the first part of “Managing your Emotions Pt. 1” before reading this part.

Managing Emotions
Managing Emotions
Every person will experience various problems, with no exceptions. You need not think that your problems are unique and feel like the Lone Ranger. Problems or troubles are the bare necessities of life. Either you have a problem, you are the problem or you live with the problem. Having problems do not develop your character, as some would say; it is what you do while experiencing them… this is how your character is revealed. You cannot always stop dilemmas and difficulties from occurring, but you can certainly stop being the root cause of it.

Continue reading “Managing Your Emotions (Pt.2)”