The Advantage Coach

The aim of a life coach is to teach you how to make a difference with your life. Business coaches are focused on the strategic and methodology to help your business succeed.

Advantage Coach
Advantage Coach
The aim of a life coach is to teach you how to make a difference with your life. Business coaches are focused on strategy and methodology to help your business succeed. Both life and business coaches are able to help you get Twice the Results in Half the Time.

Continue reading “The Advantage Coach”

Who Is In Control Of Your World?

I will start this correspondence with a question, which I am sure everyone will have an answer. Who is in control of your world? This question should be asked often, especially when someone uses excuses for his or her shortfalls. In all my years of listening to people talk about their lives, without fail, they mention how someone else is to blame for their misfortune. When a person sees that their plans are not working out as anticipated, instead of detouring, they continue with the same plan hoping that things will turn around. If your business is not bringing in enough money, why do you sit back, hoping that customers will come through your door without you doing something to attract them? Exercising your brain by working smarter and harder can reap dividends; however, repeating the same regiment without creativity will not produce new results.

What or who do you blame when things are not going well? Whenever the blame game is played, responsibility is shifted or pointed in another direction other than oneself. People blame the economy for failed businesses – which may be true to some extent – but the bulk of the blame for a failed business should be on the owner. When you own a business, this says that you have taken control of your financial future. However, to shirk the responsibility of the results of its failure is pure cowardice. The business owner who takes photographs and signs autographs as the owner of a successful business, will accept little or no blame for his or her business failure. This same principle applies to a failed marriage. Just what does it mean to have irreconcilable differences? I know, it means two people unwilling to fulfill the vows they took on the day they got married. If you are going give an excuse for your marriage falling apart, at least own up to giving the truth concerning why your marriage did not succeed.

In hindsight, people mention how they would do things differently if they were given the chance. In actuality, people have second, third and subsequent occasions during the process of their weak efforts to make corrections and take control before things totally fall apart. However, many are too blind to see how they can right their wrongs because they are too busy looking for a way out of a ship that they can only view as sinking. Unfortunately, second chances do not exist; however, new opportunities do.

When a person sits down in their most comfortable chair in their living room, they usually take control of the universal remote and turn on the television or CD player. They have declared their kingship by sitting on their throne while holding the scepter (remote control) in their hand. They are looking for personal gratification of being entertained while watching television. Like the kings of old, if the king was not amused by the court jester, the king would ask for the next act while sitting on his throne. People have the same experiences everyday to control their world. Our remote control helps us to control the elements before us and we never look to blame anyone while we are in control. If you do not like what is on a particular channel, you change it. No big deal, right? In plain English, what you do not like, you change, because the results are in your control.

Is it fair to say that God is in control of everything concerning your life? No. I am not taking any power away from God because that is impossible, but I am placing the power of your life back into your hands. If God is in control of everything, including your life, then He should be blamed. However, we have to look at life from the standpoint of who is making the decisions for you. Did God have you to overextend yourself financially? Did God sign your name on the loan application? Did God make you buy the things that you truly could not afford? Is God responsible for your procrastination? Did God make you say “I Do” to the person you married? I can go on, but I think you get the message. People, and Christians alike, feel they are genetically predisposed to making excuses and shifting blame away from themselves because our progenitor failed to face up to his failure. According to the Bible, Adam, God’s created son, failed to own up to his blunder and blamed Eve for his sin of disobedience. The principle of first things, is that whatever is in the original (Adam) will show up in the successors. To use this as an excuse for failure is completely absurd.

My attempt is not to give you a Bible lesson. However, I am only pointing out the fallacies that people generally believe, which are not Biblically substantiated. Adam’s rebellion was not based on experiences because he had only known obedience up to the point of his treason. Adam’s disobedience to God was not God’s fault either. Adam’s failure was predicated on the ability to make personal decisions, which he failed to make the right one. The truth of the matter is that you are genetically predisposed to controlling the outcome of your own life. Your fate rests in your hands, not in God’s. Your decisions are your decisions, and no one can take the blame for your personal decisions.

Flip Wilson, the famed hilarious comedian, oftentimes played a character named, Geraldine. Whenever Geraldine did something inappropriate, she would say, “The devil made me do it!” It may be comedic, but it is also crippling. If you do not control your world, your life will be placed in the hands of those who care nothing about you. You will never be allowed to stretch out and explore all the possibilities life has to offer. Refuse to be a slave in your own world!

The Greatest Untapped Source of Power

America was once a country that was full of men of passion who had a reason to fight. From America’s fight for its declaration of independence to African Americans fighting for civil rights, this country seems to have nothing of true significance to fight. America’s last real war of significance was not the war in Iraq, but rather the fight that led to the death of one of America’s greatest leaders, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The assassination of this great leader awakened this country to a vast internal hatred that existed and the slow decay of an American population that was swiftly moving toward becoming a Rebel Without a Cause. Equality became more of a reality, while balancing the economic playing field for most Americans. This great nation is not quite there yet, but the accomplished strides have allowed this nation to have its first African American president. Now what!

Two Men Standing on a Bridge…

One day, there were two successful men standing on the bridge overlooking Niagara Falls. As they were impressed by the breathtaking view one turned to the other and said, “Look at the greatest source of undeveloped power in America.” His friend replied, “No! America’s greatest source of undeveloped power is the soul of the man.”

Thousands of Colleges and Still Dumb..

Millions in America are inundated with excuses and this train of thought has caused this nation to lag behind many countries in education. With thousands of higher learning institutions in America, the overall population is not getting smarter but rather dumber. Millions are searching desperately to find excuses for themselves for their lack of achievement. Seemingly, the only thing the people in this country have mastered is making excuses. Do these excuses sound familiar: “You either have it or you don’t; It is society’s fault; or The circumstances are beyond my control.” Whenever a person has excuses, they are ignorantly cooperating in their failures. To them, it could not be helped or their failure was inevitable. They view themselves as victims of an intolerant system engineered for their irreversible downfall.

One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak.
— G. K. Chesterton

Staying hungry

Give a person an opportunity to discuss their concerns; it will always be from a view as though they are at the top coming down. When a person speaks of their passion and desire, it is usually from a valley position. The difference is in the direction of travel; one person is coming down while the other person going up. Staying hungry is important for accomplishment. When passion is lost, the will to fight and persevere dissipates. You will no longer see fighting for something as the only option for achievement.

Giving Up Vs Losing

I have heard hundreds down through the years say that they did not see quitting as quitting. I wonder is this some warped way of pacifying oneself through their disappointment. One day, I was watching a girl’s basketball game and during half time, the score was practically even. When the second half started, one team came out and played the second half with such intensity that it mentally knocked the wind out of the opposing team. The team that lost did not lose because they did not have the talent of the other team. They lost because they gave up and just existed on the court when they saw how far behind they were. When I asked one girl what happened to the team during the second half and why did she feel they lost, she replied, “We really didn’t lose…we gave up.” Another girl on the team overheard the conversation and said, “We fought hard, but I don’t see it as a loss.” Two different opinions from the same team saw it entirely different. In actuality, one reasoned with an excuse while the other gave no excuse to reason at all.

An Example from the Greatest Man Ever

After Jesus was crucified on the cross, His disciples who accompanied Him for three years in ministry and had received the charge to move forward in the cause of the gospel…almost made the fatal mistake of going back to their fishing business. They had to muster up a passion for the cause of Christ so that His three years of labor would not be in vain. It was no longer up to Jesus to be the example of perseverance for them. They had to practice what they saw Jesus do. While three years of being in the presence of the Greatest Man to have ever lived and learn from the Wisdom that created the world, caused most of the disciples to experience uncommon success in ministry and as a person. One disciple seemed to have learned nothing at all. Instead of giving His teacher his undivided attention, he remained self-centered, only looking for what money he could get from Him. He too, received his reward.

Quitting Guarantees Failure

We will one day reap the reward of our lack of passion and drive. If America is to remain great, it will be because its citizens refuse to view quitting as a viable option. You can always find hundreds of reasons to quit and usually only one to continue to fight. Beloved, realize this, the only sure way to guarantee failure is to quit or become distracted by options.

The Death of Dysfunction

Dysfunctional is a word to indicate the failure to function properly or a disturbance in the usual pattern of activity. In other words, there is a breakdown in the standard operational system of a person, family, business, or machine.

We live in a dysfunctional society where every family experiences it and every system or machine will eventually surrender its flawless record to it. Nevertheless, how do we manage our failure to function properly especially when we are facing challenges that seem to match up well with our personal strength? How can we account for the many advantages lost because of our ignorance?

I have embraced the fact that where there is an absence of functionality, dysfunction steps out of its shadow as a surrogate standard. People psychologically adjust to things falling apart in their lives, and thus they anticipate the failure. Therefore, they can find no reason to combat against what they consider the inevitable. On the other hand, these people most likely have not been tutored by a well-informed mentor on how life is supposed to work.

Most people do not realize this, but marriage was not intended to be combat zone. Nor were people given a limit as to the amount of money one can make. These are just a couple of areas where our system of belief breaks down and fails to function according to plan. If a person does not submit to their own devised standard to govern their life, one will be automatically adopted involuntarily.

You cannot have dysfunction without first having functionality. In other words, your marriage once worked, your income once sufficed, your self-esteem was once up, your dream was once alive, etc. You see, things had to function before there was a breakdown. How can a person manage the severity of their dysfunction? Easy, stop making excuses for why things fail to go according to plan. I realize that a person cannot control everything, but the things they can control should be personally pursued, placing a firm handle on it while guiding its intended outcome. Facing failure is not failure at all; capitulating to it is! This write up is entitled, “The Death of Dysfunction.”

The Number One Excuse is….

What do you suppose is the number one excuse used by people who do not live out their dreams? Do you think that the answer is procrastination, lack of resources, a lack of knowledge or fear? Certainly, without a doubt these excuses will definitely compete for the top spot, but only one excuse can gain the number one top excuse of all times. If fear was your selection to earn the top spot for excuses used, you are correct. Although fear is the top excuse used for many avoided and failed attempts at accomplishments, it can never be viewed as a legitimate reason. Fear is a horrible monster that seeks to drain an individual of self-confidence and poise. It takes a systemic process to breakdown the psyche of a person leaving them helpless and victimized. Therefore, fear becomes an acceptable and justifiable cause for not moving forward. Stephen Graham said,

Excuses are tools of incompetents that build monuments to nothing and those that specialize in them are seldom good at anything else.

As a young kid, I use to climb trees and bridges and jump down without any fear of the height. As I grew older, I found myself playing more sports rather than jumping off things, which of course left me with only the memories of what was. At about the age of twenty I was helping a couple with some work on their roof, only to realize that I had developed a fear of heights. How could this have happen. I literally became fearful of coming down from the roof of the house. They continued to reassure me that I was only a few feet from the ground, but all I could think of was the view I had while standing on the roof. You see, I am six feet tall; okay 5’11” ¾ tall. Nonetheless, standing on top of something gave me the optical illusion that I was as least my height from the ground including the ten feet representing the height of the house. In actuality, my feet were about six feet closer to the ground. Unfortunately, fear had paralyzed me to the point that it took my friends about twenty minutes to talk me down coupled with them holding my legs for support. From that point on, I realized that I had to regain my since of composure and confidence in order to literally dismiss the fear that once gripped my heart and mind.

Once fear has been realized, it must be deliberately tackled like a brute linebacker going after the quarterback. Nothing should be left to chance or time once fear has been detected. You may not like what you have to do to overcome fear’s devastating hold, however, once you are free from it, you will be glad you regained your self-reliance and freedom so that you can with confidence pursue your dream.