Breaking The Cycle of Average

Breaking the cycle of average textHere is a line from the movie Sister Act II, starring Whoopi Goldberg, which served as a motivation for me to thrive in life; “If you want to be somebody, and you want go somewhere… you better wake up and pay attention.”

There is a very large class of people in society that you want to stay as far away from their influence as possible unless you want to be a part of them. Whether you heard of this group or not, the most important thing about this group is that you do not want to be a part of it. People in this group are not necessarily bad people, but if anyone from this group has your undivided attention, they may be a deterrent to your progress. This consortium of people is commonly known as ‘The Average 90.’ This is a group of people who may be stuck in a box without any desire or passion to break out of it. They avoid risk, abandon conflict, and run from any challenge that requires more than a mediocre effort.

Are you the kind of person who will give that little extra to achieve more than what the average person can accomplish? Average people live in the shadow of excellence—always admiring the achievements of others who are not as gifted, but apparently more daring. You don’t have to be the smartest or strongest person to achieve greatness. Have you noticed that the cleverest people in school are usually not those who are the most successful or who leave their mark on life? If you want to be better than what you presently are, you must do things differently or better than others whose standard is ‘just enough to get by’.

Aim beyond what you think you are capable of achieving. Challenge yourself to develop a total disregard for where your abilities end, and turn enthusiasm into the energy that moves you beyond your fears. Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you. You might succeed if nobody else believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself.

The difference between the average 90 and the uncommon 10 is that the average 90 will wait for opportunities to be exposed, while the uncommon 10 will create them. It takes perseverance to break away from the mediocre and to do something other than what most people are willing to do, which is to get a job…a job that pays them below their skill level. However, this person’s mindset may just be minimum wage. Isn’t it ironic that a person can be so talented and gifted, but their personal drive is like the power of a gas operated scooter and not that of a Ferrari.

Have you ever been at a point in life when you wanted to give up, throw in the towel, and quit for the rest of your life? Remember as children, when we played baseball and we failed to catch the ball, or being embarrassed at school for liking someone who didn’t like you? How about when you felt you were the most qualified for a position on your job but you were passed over because you just blended in? All of these, and more, real-life scenarios have been used as the culprit for quitting, or becoming stagnated, where you no longer gave a hundred percent effort.

Life is about always moving forward, no matter what—it’s not becoming stagnated by some emotional letdown like a child having a temper tantrum when something doesn’t work out the way you planned it. Finding excuses for quitting at life or giving up on your dream will give most people immediate access to depression and anxiety, which oftentimes, leads to self-destruction. However, those who have a resolve in their heart realize that quitting is not an option. Disappointments, frustrations, and failures, are all a part of life. Unfortunately, we cannot always escape these life factors, because while we are learning how to live, we are also learning how to succeed at whatever is before us. These life lessons inevitably lead to mistakes. How you deal with your errors will either demonstrate your mental stability and your inner strength, or the lack thereof.

For life to work in its most simplistic form, a person must understand that it takes wisdom to fast forward, intelligence to pause, integrity of strength to play, but foolishness to go backwards. If you can wrap your head around these for components, which can help in some way to make sense out of life, then you just might discover that the purpose of life really does make a lot of sense. You were not designed to be average.

No one comes into this world and begins life counting backwards by years, months, weeks, and days. All of humanity is designed for forward mobility, and we start, not at one, but at start. A person cannot set goals for the days they’ve already lived; they can only set goals for days that have not yet been lived. This suggests that there is a Mastermind and Designer who created us to live forward, not to die in backward mode.

Do yourself a favor and rid your mind of mediocrity. Examine your efforts, challenge your strength and intelligence, and take the limits of being average and throw it as far away from you as possible. Refuse to accept what life throws at you, like most people do, and throw at life what direction you believe God has designed you to go.

I understand that it is your life to do with as you please; however, it is not your right to make other people feel guilty because they don’t want to live their lives alongside yours. It is difficult to follow a parked car. If you are not going anywhere in life and your movement is synchronized with those who are average, can you please move out of the way so others can get by you without the possibility of tripping over you? If you want to waste your time, why would I want to give you the opportunity of wasting mine?

To break away from the norm you have been traveling, you have to move through the crowd of people to create your own path. People of destiny will make life happen; average people will wait for life to happen.

Jesus said, “If they compel you to go one mile, go two.”

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Always Forward

Always ForwardHave you ever been at a point in life when you wanted to give up, throw in the towel, and quit for the rest of your life? Remember as children, when we played baseball and we failed to catch the ball or, being embarrassed at school for liking someone who didn’t like you? How about when you felt you were the most qualified for a position on your job but you were passed over? All of these, and more real-life scenarios, have been used as the culprit for quitting, or becoming stagnated, where you no longer gave a hundred percent effort.

Life is about moving forward always, no matter what—and not becoming stagnated by some emotional letdown when something doesn’t work in your favor. Finding excuses for quitting at life gives a person immediate access to depression and anxiety, which oftentimes, leads to self-destruction. Disappointments, frustrations, and failures, are all a part of life. Unfortunately, we cannot always escape these life factors, because while we are learning how to live, we are also learning how not to fail. These life lessons inevitably lead to mistakes. How you deal with your errors will either demonstrate your mental stability and your inner strength, or the lack thereof.

How can people have an incredible childhood, come from an affluent family, attend the best schools and universities in the country, lack for nothing in their lives, and only to come to the conclusion they are unhappy? While another person, who lived the opposite lifestyle, experiencing bumps and bruises while growing up, coming from a lower to middle income family, who perhaps attended a local city college, and who struggles at times to make ends meet, discovers they are happy with their life. What’s the difference? How can two people who have lived a similar lifestyle of drugs and failure, turn out with one experiencing a mental breakdown, while the other experiences a breakthrough?

The answer may surprise you, because of how simple it is. Humans have a propensity to make simple processes extremely difficult. I have also been guilty of this in times past. I have racked my brain trying to understand some things that have challenged me, or to understand why I was not as progressive in life when I believed I was capable of being so; to understand those times when I should have been strengthening my decision making skills, to be more resolute, than indecisive.

I believe there are four major buttons in life, and not one of them, is a reset button. To reset means to return to a default setting. It may sound like a great cliché, but why anyone would want to return to the default setting which causes their mistakes initially, is beyond me.

These four major buttons are on every audio and video device, most computer keyboards, every remote control for these devices and every other electronic component requiring a play button: They are Stop, Rewind, Play, and Forward. In addition, eject is the added bonus. What do these buttons mean to the average person, who seems to oftentimes get the short end of the stick? Every person was born with a play, pause, and stop button. The reverse button, is only in a person’s head, because we cannot actually reverse except in our minds.

For life to work in its most simplistic form, a person must understand that it takes wisdom to fast forward, intelligence to pause, integrity of strength to play, but foolishness to go backwards. If you can wrap your head around these for components, which can help in some way to make sense out of life, then you just might discover that the purpose of life really does make a lot of sense.

No one comes into this world and begins life counting backwards in years, months, weeks, and days. All of humanity is designed for forward mobility, and we start, not at one, but at start. A person cannot set goals for the days they’ve already lived; they can only set goals for days that have not been lived. This suggest there is a Mastermind and Designer who created us to live forward, not to die in backward mode.

Don’t spend your days judging your future by the failures and disappointments of your past. And for heaven’s sake, do not spend your time trying to come up with an excuse to stop moving forward. Benjamin Franklin said, “He who makes excuses is seldom good for making anything else.”

Live life on purpose. Time is always moving forward. Stop spending your time living in rewind, because you are wasting it. Spend your time by paying attention to living your future today, and every new day, will expose you to new treasures.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

The Proof Is In The Pudding!

Drawing the Line in the SandIn this present generation, many people are finding themselves emotionally ripped and torn by their attachments, which is the common root for their pain and frustrations. It’s not as much as what others have done to them; as much as it is as to what they are doing to themselves. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Oftentimes, our suffering comes from our attachments to things, people, and personal desires. You can be at a place that you want something so bad to happen, that you don’t realize that you’re mental and sometimes physical suffering occurred because you wanted something to happen for all the wrong reasons.


Your life is at its finest when you become entrenched and completely invested in the effort but unattached to the results. This is the place when you are intimate with your personal power because you realize that the expedition and the exertion are important. There is a place that you arrive at where you draw a line in the sand that you must let go of that something that has to lead you to a new position or it has to lead to a certain person loving you or it has to lead to making a lot of money. When your desires are discombobulated or targeted towards you feeling better about yourself, you actually become disempowered by making the goal the consummate.

I believe the goal has to do with the process itself. In reality, the end is inherited in the means. Who you are when you are putting forth the effort is more important than what you want to become at the end of your effort. If you are totally convince that you left nothing in you after your effort, how can you not be content with the outcome. I love what Mahatma Gandhi said, “Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.”

All of us have gone through external assessments of wanting our marriage to turn out a certain way, our children becoming successful, our business succeeding, etc. Dr. Brown, are you suggesting that we should be completely unattached from this desire? you might be thinking. I know you feel that if you are unattached, you will stop working hard or you will no longer put out energy because where there is no concern there is no drive. Unattached doesn’t mean uncommitted.

Allow me to explain this process in a way that a layman can understand. When you become unattached, that doesn’t make you out to be a person who no longer cares about winning, or getting ahead in life or wanting your children to succeed. People think that if you think without ambition, that would be chaotic. However, I can substantiate that it is just the opposite. In other words, when you give up attachments, you will settle into a calm peaceful mentality where you are enjoying the process. This, of course, doesn’t mean you have removed your hands from the controls as though the results have no validity. It points to the fact that you understand that true results may not be what you envisioned. You are simply convinced that the true result of what God wanted for you is the quintessential of the true effort exerted by you.

What we think is our deep effort to make something happen, is actually meddling where we get in the way of something happening far greater than if our personal might was involved. The fact that you are attached to a relationship going a certain way actually sabotages the relationship. This is more likely to make you needy, jealous, demanding or pushy. This persona is not attractive, but rather repulsive. The only true control you can exert is when someone can trust you enough to talk with you. Then and only then are others allowed to own their space in your presence without feeling as though you are trying to manipulate them into thinking that you own it.

The idea of giving up your attachments has to be understood or else you will think that when one has no attachments, it shouldn’t equal any effort. In fact, letting go is that your only effort is your best effort. Your results are in your effort; not in how something or someone responds to you. You are not leaving the results up to fate; you are letting others decide without you manipulating them to move in your favor.

You cannot make people love you, but you can love yourself enough where their lack of love for you doesn’t bother you one bit. What you believe to be so is your RESULT!


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Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1930388144&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0983841578&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1453619232&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

The Prerequisite for Mental Toughness

Mental Toughness
Mental Toughness
How do you think you would do in the area of exercising mental toughness?

It is easy to sit back and analyze another person’s performance, and say what you would do if you were in their situation. The truth of the matter is, if you have never been there or been trained for certain situations, you have no clue as to how you would respond under such severe mental pressure. Sometimes we are unable to change our environment to manage stress – this may be the case where we do not have the power to change a situation. Therefore, a person must learn to adapt and improvise in order to overcome the mental challenges and to have the best possible chance of succeeding. This is only accomplished with training.

Continue reading “The Prerequisite for Mental Toughness”

Power For Living

Have you ever felt a sense of hopelessness about a situation in your life or feeling completely powerless to change your circumstances? Well, welcome to the club, because anybody who have ever thought of doing anything have at one some time in their life looked up at a huge mountain of things to do that seemingly put their goals beyond their reach.

People often approach me with the thought of starting a business, but they are quickly discouraged when they discover the paperwork that must be completed and the funds that are necessary in order to begin their dream business. Having a desire to start a business or to author a book is not the motivation that will propel a person to not only start but also complete their endeavor. Government agencies encourage people to pursue funds from the government that are offered to serious people. Government bureaucracy red tape is only a deterrent for those who are not serious about pursuing the much-needed assistance that may be offered to the general population concerning start-up business grants or low interest loans. As a result, their dreams will usually come to a squelching halt because they did not take into account how laborious and painstaking it is to start a business.

Listen to me! You do not have to be shoved around like some rag-doll by fear and dissuasion. You can discover the power to stand up to the bully of success, which is fear, and never feel powerless again. Feeling powerless and being powerless are two different positions, and feeling powerless does not make it so. The impediment that stand between your dream endeavor and starting it is not the lack of knowledge or money; it is simply apprehension that it may be too hard or too much of a price to pay to start a business. Therefore, failure is the image that must be changed mentally before you will ever believe you can set your dream in motion.

People have gone to great lengths to protect their emotion of fear so that in the eyes of relatives, friends, and associates their personal image may not become tainted. They want people to see them as powerful and daring. Therefore, they lie and shield their fears with anecdotes and excuses to misdirect the focus off them. In truth, they are frightened of the challenge and they have chosen to sit back in the comfort of mediocrity. People do not drown because they cannot swim; they drown because they believe they cannot swim. If a person drowns, it is because they panic and fight the water until they are completely exhausted. Afterward, their body then will float to the top. You do not have to drown in order to float on top of water, you can simply decide to relax (be at ease) and you will find yourself floating on the ocean. When people lose the fear of something, he or she can learn to master it; but as long as fear dominates a person, the thing they are fearful of will dominate them.

I would like to think that I am interested in wanting the best for people I love and mentor, especially those I am intimately engaged with on a daily and weekly basis. However, my nurturing image of what many of them can become and the things I believe they are capable of accomplishing, are oftentimes in conflict with where they have chosen to settle instead of pursuing their highest aspiration.

Stop living in fear and start fearlessly living. Life is short and filled with frustrations, disappointments, and failure. However, on the other hand, life is inundated with contentment, pleasures, and fulfillment. My friend, it is how you see it. Frustrations can become advantageous, disappointments can become fulfilled appointments, and failure can be replaced with success. The choice is yours! Choose today, how you are going to live the rest of your life. Remember, how you live tomorrow is determined by the things you do today.