What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

What Motivates The Dreamer?

MB Text 7-3-2015 (Motivate, Dreamer)People who have dreams and believe in them usually live longer lives than people who don’t. When you have a dream to live, you are better off than the person who has to live with no dream at all. You will have a different kind of energy about you. Not only are you extending your life, but you are adding life to your years, making it more enjoyable. This is when you understand your dream is not optional—it’s necessary.

A person with a dream who doesn’t have any ump to make it happen really doesn’t believe in their dream. It’s not that they wouldn’t love to fulfill their dream; they just don’t love it enough to surrender all of their faculties to making it happen.

What do you believe is missing when a person just can’t seem to muster the energy necessary to create ways to live their dream? If you don’t know, I do. One of the most powerfully creative tools given to human beings, is the ability to use imagination. And, yet, imagination is not the answer. Rather, it’s what imagination unlocks when the right image is visible through a person’s mind’s eye. Let me spell it out for you, MOTIVATION. When a person is missing the feeling of enthusiasm, interest, or the sense of commitment which causes people to have a reason, or incentive to accomplish something; they are generally missing is what is commonly known as motivation.

Below is an excerpt from my soon to be released book, entitled, TURN ON YOUR LIFE, which I believe can help a person identify that gut feeling when it comes to living out dreams.

“When you know someone else has done what you are endeavoring to accomplish, then you know you can do it too. It’s easy to see someone else do something and then believe you can do it. But what happens when there is no record of anyone ever accomplishing or even attempting what your dream has inspired you to do? Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise be important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Do you have that feeling deep in your gut that it’s time to go for it, to tackle the one thing you’ve waited your whole life to make happen? You realize you can no longer fight that feeling, that thought—when you feel you are against the odds, even though someone else has already done what you aspire to accomplish, and you have that belief, that drive and determination that you can do it too. This crazy feeling swimming around inside your gut is the audacity that will keep you strong and persistent, always challenging yourself to do it. When you have a real-to-life dream, it becomes necessary that you live this dream.”

Excerpt from TURN ON YOUR LIFE, chapter “Get Motivated”, by Dr. Mikel Brown.

Believe it or not, 90% of the world’s population shares the same problem of inconsistency. Inconsistency is normal for most people. Normalcy for most people is sitting back and waiting for things to happen. If this is you, and you want to change, you have to deliberately break the habit of being inconsistent, which erodes your dreams and pollutes your efforts.

Stand up, stay up, and don’t give up! You can change so easily by simply changing the image in your mind. Your imagination is the key to your drive and persistence. All accomplishments were birthed out of the womb of imagination. See yourself fighting for your dream, living your dream, and defending your right to enjoy, without apology, the privilege of even having a dream.

Your imagination holds the key to your motivation. If you can dream it, it’s meant to be. If you can see it, it’s actually real, and if you can live it, you will enjoy it.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Managing Your Emotions (Pt 1)

Managing Your Emotion
One third of the American population admits to having some form of emotional problem. Limited ability to deal with one’s emotional instability has damaged businesses, careers and the personal lives of many people. The capability to manage emotions such as disillusionment, anger and frustration is an important interpersonal skill, which depends solely on your ability to identify and evaluate addictive behavior and its link to what incites it.

The ability to make exceptional critical decisions while experiencing highly emotional periods of frustration, disappointment, and possibly mild forms of depression, which can affect your future life or business, is usually predicated on the strength to manage your emotions. When your hopes in business are shattered by failure; or your first published book has not moved out of your garage; or your dream of succeeding in the music industry was shot down by some big-time music executive — allowing your emotions to get out of control, will easily cause you to become misdirected.

One of my business protégés once spoke out of his personal frustration because his company’s success was not coming as fast as he had anticipated. So, he made a ridiculous statement that he should just take his money and buy lottery tickets, thinking he will have a better chance at winning the lottery than being successful in business. You will be surprised how many of your business and personal life choices are made during times of stubbornness and inflexibility. Frustration and pigheadedness is a link to much of your anxiety that must be eliminated in order to reduce the severity of your problems.

“Whenever you’re confronted with a tough work situation, stop for a second and try to honestly answer this question: Am I approaching this emotionally or am I approaching this professionally?” –Suze Orman

Imagine you are a CEO of a company that has to answer to a board of twelve. One of the board members, (as if he is your worst nightmare) always shoots down your suggestions. Or, perhaps you are an accountant working in an accounting firm, where your boss thinks that you never have enough work. Your decision to remain cool, calm and collected under emotional pressure can be the difference of between success and failure.

If you are in any situation that is similar to these two previously stated scenarios, let me give you the simplest answer. Emotions are simply feelings in motion. If you can control your emotions, you can control the direction of your motion (action). Do not give your critics the satisfaction of seeing you as an emotional wreck.

Think about what you want to do, and how you want to act in a situation. Right action prevents poor reaction.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.
[amazon_image id=”0091876508″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]The Power of Focus: How to Hit Your Business, Personal and Financial Targets with Absolute[/amazon_image] [amazon_image id=”1930388179″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Unexpected Treasures[/amazon_image] [amazon_image id=”1930388128″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Developing a Champion Spirit — in just 10 minutes — For Women Only[/amazon_image] [amazon_image id=”193038811X” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Developing A Champion Spirit – in just 10 minutes – for men only[/amazon_image]

The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

UPDATED 06-17-11: Read the conclusion of this article, Go to “Managing your Emotions Pt. 2” now.