What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

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How To Rocket Your Life And Income

2-22-15-insideHow Fast Are You Willing to Recover from a Setback or Do You Just Sit Back? Resiliency is the ability to recover quickly from setbacks. In other words, in life you have to be like elasticity, which is the knack of matter to spring back quickly into shape after being bent, stretched, or deformed.

What do you do when your business is struggling, or your career appears to be on the verge of being railroaded by a young witty super salesperson, or when your life seems to be inundated with the yo-yo syndrome? How do you get your marriage off the rocks or make your marriage solid as rock when things are rocky?

When a situation occurs that can negatively affect your life or possibly cause it to turn out for the worse, there are three possible choices you can make in reaction to it. You can decide to panic, do nothing and adapt, or become innovative.

Considering the economic conditions we are facing in this country with unemployment in the double digits, increasing home foreclosure rates, diminishing property values, and skyrocketing healthcare prices, people are wondering how it is possible to save even a dollar; especially, with taxes increasing every time a politician sneezes. With the constant negative fluctuation of U.S. currency, upheaval amongst our political officials, the threat of nuclear warfare, and white-collar crime increasing, whom do we trust with our future earnings—whom do we trust with our lives?

Our military men and women are committing suicide at an alarming rate. Three quarters into the year 2010, the military experienced twice the number of suicides as the previous year. Americans are angry and fed up with our government sending government civilian personnel and troops over to defend and help build the economies of other nations, as they perform such a task under volatile conditions, while the U.S home front is collapsing under the weight of social programs, wasteful spending, excessive taxes, and a bureaucracy that apparently does not care about its own citizens.

Already, some people are surmising that the American ship is going down and have decided to check out of this life by committing suicide. Panic appears to be the choice of some people. However, when a person panics, all self-control is lost, and the ability to think clearly is cluttered with ‘what ifs’ that have nothing to do with what is. Let me suggest to you that this is not a time for panic, but sober contemplation. We cannot assume the phrase, “We will not go down without a fight.” We must only consider the phrase, “We will not go down!” With this attitude, fortitude is established and focused intensity is applied. Therefore, when politicians fail, pandemonium is served, and conditions are other than favorable, who do you trust?…Trust God!

There are people who do nothing in this country but complain and adapt to environments without any attempt to create change. “What can one man do” they exclaim, while conditions worsen around them. They are welded into the declining conditions as a permanent fixture, never to rise above it. There is still another choice that should be considered, and yes, it is the best choice of all.

It was Plato who said that necessity is the mother of invention, and believe me, innovation is the prevailing thought. There are a people who have displayed resilience under severe and sometimes unbearable circumstances, who have come out even more determined to live on. Jewish people, whom I have had the wonderful privilege of engaging and hearing their stories, have encouraged me in more ways than one could possibly imagine.

If Jewish people were forbidden in one direction, they would excel in another. When Jews were prohibited to deal in new clothes, they sold old clothes—that was the beginning of organized traffic in secondhand clothing. When they were not allowed to deal in merchandise, they dealt in waste—the Jewish people are the originators of the waste product business of the world. They were the originators of the salvage system and found wealth in the rubbish of civilization. America and the world have the history of the commercial descendants of those earlier Jews who turned adversity into success…not by becoming bitter, but better.

Beloved, despite the economic woes of this nation, if we the people can believe, decide not to panic, and begin to eradicate our personal debt by taking a strategic approach to doing so, we will succeed. Despite what the nation is experiencing…do not panic or adapt to the conditions of your surroundings. Become resilient and learn to work within the system until the system works for you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

An Interview with Dr. Mikel Brown

This is an excerpt of an interview with Dr. Mikel Brown about various important topics.

An Interview
An Interview
Q: What is your view on business?
A: It depends on what kind of business you are referring to; or are you asking me about business in general? Business in and of itself relates to exchange, agreements, acquisition, bartering, relationships, marriage, etc. All of the components I just mentioned define business. Business cannot truly be identified without these components because these components are business. If I were to define it in my own words, I would simply define it as the act of dealing with others in and for personal or corporate endeavors.
Continue reading “An Interview with Dr. Mikel Brown”

The Proof Is In The Pudding!

Drawing the Line in the SandIn this present generation, many people are finding themselves emotionally ripped and torn by their attachments, which is the common root for their pain and frustrations. It’s not as much as what others have done to them; as much as it is as to what they are doing to themselves. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Oftentimes, our suffering comes from our attachments to things, people, and personal desires. You can be at a place that you want something so bad to happen, that you don’t realize that you’re mental and sometimes physical suffering occurred because you wanted something to happen for all the wrong reasons.

Your life is at its finest when you become entrenched and completely invested in the effort but unattached to the results. This is the place when you are intimate with your personal power because you realize that the expedition and the exertion are important. There is a place that you arrive at where you draw a line in the sand that you must let go of that something that has to lead you to a new position or it has to lead to a certain person loving you or it has to lead to making a lot of money. When your desires are discombobulated or targeted towards you feeling better about yourself, you actually become disempowered by making the goal the consummate.

I believe the goal has to do with the process itself. In reality, the end is inherited in the means. Who you are when you are putting forth the effort is more important than what you want to become at the end of your effort. If you are totally convince that you left nothing in you after your effort, how can you not be content with the outcome. I love what Mahatma Gandhi said, “Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.”

All of us have gone through external assessments of wanting our marriage to turn out a certain way, our children becoming successful, our business succeeding, etc. Dr. Brown, are you suggesting that we should be completely unattached from this desire? you might be thinking. I know you feel that if you are unattached, you will stop working hard or you will no longer put out energy because where there is no concern there is no drive. Unattached doesn’t mean uncommitted.

Allow me to explain this process in a way that a layman can understand. When you become unattached, that doesn’t make you out to be a person who no longer cares about winning, or getting ahead in life or wanting your children to succeed. People think that if you think without ambition, that would be chaotic. However, I can substantiate that it is just the opposite. In other words, when you give up attachments, you will settle into a calm peaceful mentality where you are enjoying the process. This, of course, doesn’t mean you have removed your hands from the controls as though the results have no validity. It points to the fact that you understand that true results may not be what you envisioned. You are simply convinced that the true result of what God wanted for you is the quintessential of the true effort exerted by you.

What we think is our deep effort to make something happen, is actually meddling where we get in the way of something happening far greater than if our personal might was involved. The fact that you are attached to a relationship going a certain way actually sabotages the relationship. This is more likely to make you needy, jealous, demanding or pushy. This persona is not attractive, but rather repulsive. The only true control you can exert is when someone can trust you enough to talk with you. Then and only then are others allowed to own their space in your presence without feeling as though you are trying to manipulate them into thinking that you own it.

The idea of giving up your attachments has to be understood or else you will think that when one has no attachments, it shouldn’t equal any effort. In fact, letting go is that your only effort is your best effort. Your results are in your effort; not in how something or someone responds to you. You are not leaving the results up to fate; you are letting others decide without you manipulating them to move in your favor.

You cannot make people love you, but you can love yourself enough where their lack of love for you doesn’t bother you one bit. What you believe to be so is your RESULT!

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Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Four Principles of Life

Four Success Principles
How would you like to achieve virtually any goal you envision? Do you want to be the success you were meant to be? The Four Principles of Life will help you turn stress to your advantage and turn fear into confidence.

It is not how good you are; it is how good you want to be. It matters very little where you are when you are not interested in going anywhere. The hustle and bustle of life has misdirected more people than one can possibly imagine. Generally, people start doing one thing, but end up doing something very different from what they started doing. They get so busy living life, that they have forgotten how they want their lives to be lived.

Continue reading “Four Principles of Life”

A Revolutionary Reaction

Change is inevitable. Change is durable. Everything is subjected to change. Change is a powerful agent because it has the ability to stage-manage all forms of structures, including the human body. Where change is not forced, but left to its own judgment, it reduces the quality of things to its lowest common characteristic.

God gave to man the ability to monitor change, to slow down its progress or to speed it up. For instance, aging and death is inevitable, but maintaining good health slows the aging process and possibly defers death for a time. In other words, good health, due to eating right and exercise is the slowest possible rate of death. Imagine what happens to the human body when exercise is abandon and eating right is discarded; the body slowly deteriorates and the rate of death accelerates. Well, this is what happens to our finances. Our money problems cannot be fixed left to its own. Anything left to its own weakness will eventually be devoured by the devastating power of change to reduce its quality to its lowest possible condition.

Forcing change to increase the probability of something changing for the better takes a well thought-out and calculated effort on the part of the individual. Ignoring bills will not make them go away, but acknowledging them and attacking their onslaught of attack, will weaken its defenses. When bills are dealt with and paid, one payment at a time, despite the amount, it neutralizes their effects.

You have the ability and authority to impinge upon change the direction you want it to go. Impose your will onto your negative financial situation. Making calls to your creditors and informing them of what you will do, will cause them to negotiate with you because they want their money. Do not be intimidated about writing all your bills down on a sheet of paper. Moreover, do not avoid any of them despite how shocked you are with the amount you owe. Remember, it not how much you owe that matters, what matters is how much you own. When you owe, it creates a deficit, paying off what you owe generates an asset.

I also believe that if you act poor, then you must believe you are. Believing is more important than knowledge. How you see yourself and your situation will certainly become the lifestyle you will live. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Change the mental photograph you have in your mind of your finances, marriage, or education and watch your world begin to change. Now, please understand, trying this is not a full commitment to doing it. If you only attempt to test and see if it works than all you will produce is a warped concept of an unclassified imagination. Good habits will attract good things. Bad habits attract bad things.

You can give more, live more, do more and become more then you ever thought, if you will only believe more! Start Believing TODAY!