Control Your Environment for Success

Control Environment MB TextHave you ever felt a sense of hopelessness about a situation in your life or felt completely powerless to change your circumstances? Well, welcome to the club! Anybody who has ever thought of attempting anything worthwhile, has at some time in their life, looked up at a huge mountain of things to do, which seemed beyond their reach to complete. This viewpoint leads many people to never set goals, for fear they will not score.

People often approach me with the thought of starting a business, but they are quickly discouraged when they discover the amount of paperwork which must be completed, or the funds which are necessary to begin. Having a desire to start a business or to author a book is not motivation enough to propel a person to not only start, but also complete the endeavor.

Government agencies encourage people to pursue government funds which are offered to serious people. Bureaucratic red tape is a deterrent only to those who are not serious enough to pursue much-needed assistance, which may be offered to the general public through start-up business grants or low interest loans. As a result, their dreams will usually come to a squelching halt because they did not take into account how laborious and painstaking it is to start a business.

Listen to me! You do not have to be dissuaded or shoved around like some rag-doll by fear. You can discover the power to stand up to the bully of success, which is fear, and never feel powerless again. Feeling powerless and being powerless are two different positions, and feeling powerless does not make it so. The impediment standing between you and starting your dream endeavor, is not the lack of knowledge or money; it is simply the apprehension that it may be too hard or too much of a price to pay. Therefore, failure is the mental image which must be changed before you will ever believe you can set your dream in motion.

People have gone to great lengths to protect their emotion of fear so that in the eyes of relatives, friends, and associates, their personal image is not tainted. They want people to see them as powerful and daring. Therefore, they lie and shield their fears with anecdotes and excuses to direct the focus away from them. In truth, they are frightened of challenges and they have chosen to sit back in the comfort of mediocrity. Don’t look to manage your fears, learn how to cripple them before they cripple you.

People do not drown because they cannot swim; they drown because they believe they cannot swim. If a person drowns, it is because they panic and fight the water until they are completely exhausted. Afterwards, their bodies float to the top. You do not have to drown in order to float on top of water, you can simply decide to relax (be at ease) and you will find yourself floating. When people lose the fear of something, they can learn to master it; but as long as fear dominates a person, the thing they are fearful of will dominate them.

I would like to think that I am interested in wanting the best for people I love and mentor, especially those I am intimately engaged with on a daily and weekly basis. However, my nurturing image of what many of them can become, and the things I believe they are capable of accomplishing is oftentimes in conflict with where they have chosen to settle instead of pursuing their highest aspirations.

Stop living in fear and start fearlessly living. Life is short and filled with frustrations, disappointments, and failures. On the other hand, life is inundated with contentment, pleasures, and fulfillment. Failure and disappointment do not define you; they are designed to refine you.

My friend, it is how you see it. Frustrations can become advantageous, disappointments can become fulfilled appointments, and failure can be replaced with success. The choice is yours! Choose today, how you are going to live the rest of your life. Remember, how you live tomorrow is determined by the things you do today. Decision Determines Destiny!

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

 
 

What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Unsolicited Consequences

MB Text 7-26-2015 (Consequnce)What are consequences and why can they be fatal?

A consequence is something that follows as a result. Consequences can be good or bad, however, it is the relation between a result and its cause. If it is a negative result, it means a previous action resulted in an unpleasant or difficult outcome. There’s one thing about consequences – we all pay them.

Can you recall a time where you’ve personally said or done something for which you felt the consequences were unwarranted? No one ever complains and wonders why good things are happening to them, but most people are usually very confused as to why negative consequences occur. Negative consequences would never materialize without them first being paid for. Every consequence is paid in advance.

Now I believe, there is a cause and effect, and a ripple effect for everything everyone does, and those actions can have positive consequences as well as negative. Everyone has to make their own decisions, however you have to be able to accept the consequences without complaining. A person’s acceptance of what has taken place is the first step toward overcoming any unfortunate consequence. Everything has positive or negative consequences, and I can’t repeat this enough.

Sometimes, tremendous consequences come from what we sometimes consider to be little or insignificant decisions or actions. When the results seem to have a more devastating effect, I am tempted to think there is no such thing as little decisions or actions. On the other hand, small actions and decisions can also result in gigantic results.

“I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot… when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.”
–Michael Jordan

Most youth never take into consideration the consequences of their actions until it is too late. How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. Is it possible to get in the way of someone’s consequences for an act they committed? Nothing is free in this world; either you pay your own consequences or someone else does. Choices made, whether good, bad, or indifferent, follow you forever and affect everyone in their path one way or another. Some of a person’s emotional scars can be the result of another person’s emotional pain. Hurt people; hurt people.

The way I avoid, as much as I can, the foolishness of someone else’s actions, is to mentally be aware of their capability. It’s similar to making a conscience decision, while you’re driving, to drive for the other guy as well. When you see someone swerving back and forth on the road, stay a good distance behind them or they may inadvertently cause an accident for you.

Without reflection, we blindly go on our way, generating more unintended consequences, and always falling short of achieving anything useful. The actions we take and the decisions we make in this waking moment will have consequences reaching far into our futures. It doesn’t matter if we don’t mean to do the things we do. It means nothing if it was an accident or a mistake. It doesn’t even matter if we think this is all up to fate. Regardless of our destiny, we still have to answer for our actions; and our consequences are those answers.

We all make choices, big and small, every day of our lives, and those choices have consequences. Everyone is going to eventually sit at the table and eat the meal of consequences. However, you can personally be totally engaged in the effort to ensure that the consequences you eat daily, are good and beneficial, as the result of you making sure your actions and decisions are calculating consequences worth paying for.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Change Yourself Before Change Changes You

MB Text 4-17-2015 (Change)If there is one thing constant in an endless series of episodes throughout one’s life; it is change. The objective or purpose of a person should never change, but the strategy to obtain it must frequently be modified or tweaked. Unforeseen challenges may require one to rethink and rework their strategy to tackle obstacles or struggles, which might otherwise, cripple efforts and negate objectives. It is important for a person to not be foreign to, or intimidated by change, so their approach to dealing with extenuating circumstances can be handled skillfully, and with thoughtful consideration.

Oftentimes, people sit back on their laurels without considering that the success they may have experienced yesterday, in most cases, is not adequate for motivating them to seek and pioneer new territories. Therefore, instead of continuing to seek new ways to keep their lives and businesses fresh and relevant, they become blind to their indifference to change. It is at this point, where life ends up making choices for people while forcing upon them a ‘must’ choice for which they are ill-prepared, both mentally and spiritually, to make on their own. If you, by choice, are not the mid-wife of the emerging newness waiting to envelop your life, your efforts are inadvertently helping to sustain your old way of life.

While one portion of your dream can be crumbling, another part of it may be budding; seeking to be born. One phase of your life can be on the verge of total collapse, while another segment of your life is struggling to gain access and existence into your world. My advice to you is to learn and practice the profession of a midwife. This way, you will know how to deliver even those dreams that are breach coming through the birth canal.

Change is inevitable and so are choices. It is better to change life on your own terms, into what you want it to be, rather than wait for circumstances to force change in your life which produces undesirable results.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

Too often, I have heard people refer to situations as being able to somehow work themselves out; as if they can correct themselves? I have never seen a mess clean itself up, nor have I ever encountered a solution to a problem not deriving from a person. When something is maintaining instead of thriving, it is slowly dying.

I spoke with a gentleman who told me his 92 year old grandmother had recently died. He said his grandmother worked until she was 87 and stayed active until she was 91. He said the moment she became inactive, she died. The same thing usually happens to people who are young and goalless. There is a 74 year old man who is able to bench press almost three times his weight, and if you were to see him, you would know that he must love life. On the other hand, there is a 29 year old man who is perfectly healthy, but mentally, he is slowing dying. He acts as if he has no energy, he has no dreams, and he’s always complaining about how life seems to have dealt him a bad hand. This young man is just as dead at 29 as the older woman was at 92.

Life requires action! Change is necessary for life to be fluent and graceful. My friend, rehearsal is over, the curtain is open and the lights are on; now live! Don’t lock change out; embrace it, own it, and use it according to your terms. Do not allow change to change your life without your approval.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Psychoanalyze Yourself

psychoanalyze-blog-200I don’t profess to know everything, but I will acknowledge the things I care to know are the things that are important to me, and they are things that can help me succeed in the area of life which I now so passionately pursue.

Continue reading “Psychoanalyze Yourself”