What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

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Unsolicited Consequences

MB Text 7-26-2015 (Consequnce)What are consequences and why can they be fatal?

A consequence is something that follows as a result. Consequences can be good or bad, however, it is the relation between a result and its cause. If it is a negative result, it means a previous action resulted in an unpleasant or difficult outcome. There’s one thing about consequences – we all pay them.

Can you recall a time where you’ve personally said or done something for which you felt the consequences were unwarranted? No one ever complains and wonders why good things are happening to them, but most people are usually very confused as to why negative consequences occur. Negative consequences would never materialize without them first being paid for. Every consequence is paid in advance.

Now I believe, there is a cause and effect, and a ripple effect for everything everyone does, and those actions can have positive consequences as well as negative. Everyone has to make their own decisions, however you have to be able to accept the consequences without complaining. A person’s acceptance of what has taken place is the first step toward overcoming any unfortunate consequence. Everything has positive or negative consequences, and I can’t repeat this enough.

Sometimes, tremendous consequences come from what we sometimes consider to be little or insignificant decisions or actions. When the results seem to have a more devastating effect, I am tempted to think there is no such thing as little decisions or actions. On the other hand, small actions and decisions can also result in gigantic results.

“I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot… when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.”
–Michael Jordan

Most youth never take into consideration the consequences of their actions until it is too late. How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. Is it possible to get in the way of someone’s consequences for an act they committed? Nothing is free in this world; either you pay your own consequences or someone else does. Choices made, whether good, bad, or indifferent, follow you forever and affect everyone in their path one way or another. Some of a person’s emotional scars can be the result of another person’s emotional pain. Hurt people; hurt people.

The way I avoid, as much as I can, the foolishness of someone else’s actions, is to mentally be aware of their capability. It’s similar to making a conscience decision, while you’re driving, to drive for the other guy as well. When you see someone swerving back and forth on the road, stay a good distance behind them or they may inadvertently cause an accident for you.

Without reflection, we blindly go on our way, generating more unintended consequences, and always falling short of achieving anything useful. The actions we take and the decisions we make in this waking moment will have consequences reaching far into our futures. It doesn’t matter if we don’t mean to do the things we do. It means nothing if it was an accident or a mistake. It doesn’t even matter if we think this is all up to fate. Regardless of our destiny, we still have to answer for our actions; and our consequences are those answers.

We all make choices, big and small, every day of our lives, and those choices have consequences. Everyone is going to eventually sit at the table and eat the meal of consequences. However, you can personally be totally engaged in the effort to ensure that the consequences you eat daily, are good and beneficial, as the result of you making sure your actions and decisions are calculating consequences worth paying for.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Handle Your Business And Make Life Happen

MB Text 5-24-2015 1(Handle Your Business)How do you handle being offended? Are you easily offended by the truth, unsolicited advice or offended by a lie? How you handle an offense is most likely how you handle everything else in life. Oftentimes, when a person struggles with offense it is demonstrative of a lack of character.

Some people think they are strong and can handle correction or misfortune, but in most cases, their skin is slightly thicker than a thin veneer of cosmetic make-up. I learned early on that life is full of rules, policies, and systems. When any of these have been violated or misappropriated, correction has to be made by the violators if they want their lives to turn for the good. You won’t always get things right the first time, but you have to keep working at it until the correct system or pattern for doing something is discovered.

There are no shortages of opportunities to make a living at what you love; there’s only a deficiency of resolve to make it happen. It’s odd how people can get upset with everyone around them when they struggle with trying to accomplish something, as if everyone else is the chief cause of them getting something wrong.

Allen Iverson, one of the NBA’s great small guards, said that after making bad choices as a young NBA star, and no other team wanting him after he was released from his previous team, he penalized his children and wife as if they were the reasons for all his misfortune. In other words, he treated them badly because he found himself offended by other people’s rejection of his lifestyle, thinking he would be more of a hindrance than a help to their teams.

Sometimes, people carry in their minds a sense of entitlement because of their talents or abilities. They act or behave however they please, as if there are no consequences and others have to concede to them because of their ability to perform well in their gifted areas. Get over yourself! There are thousands of people who can do exactly what you can do, if not better. Balance your emotions and target your anger in the right direction. Make the necessary adjustments and refocus your efforts to not just develop your skills, but your character as well.

Never let life, or others’ opinions, impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. On the other hand, don’t be closed to correction and advice which can help you overcome the hurdles of pride and a false sense of confidence. Dig deeper into your dreams and deeper into yourself. Believe that anything is possible, and make it happen. This cannot, and will never happen, until you learn how life works. You cannot break the rules and expect the status quo to become your own opinion. You’ll never win at life if you don’t know how to play by the rules.

Just because you are struggling, it does not mean you are failing. Every great success requires some type of struggle to get there, even if it’s just learning something you were never trained to do. If you sit back and never do anything, you will never achieve anything. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed on your first, second, third…or fiftieth attempt. All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and do it again, until you learn the correct way of doing it.

Accomplishing something brings a good feeling, but achieving it after you almost gave in to failure, or when nobody else thought you could accomplish it, brings an awesome feeling.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Don’t Half Live Your Dream

MB_text_3-13-15I’ve discovered that Success is not a simple matter; it cannot be determined merely by the amount of money and material possessions you have. Things can make you happy temporarily, but they are a poor substitute for inner peace and happiness. To achieve one’s ultimate purpose should be one’s earthly pursuits.

We all want to be happy and successful, especially financially. We work at it. We strive for it. We know it when we have it, and we know when we are not happy. It seems so elusive sometimes. We often seek happiness in all the wrong places. We run to substitutes for happiness that often makes us feel even more unhappy.

A millionaire who is not personally content with his or her life is not truly successful. I do not mean that if you have a billion dollars you cannot be considered a success however, we usually make the mistake of thinking that happiness is related somehow to our financial condition, or we think if our circumstances get better, we will be happy.

Happiness has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances. Two people with identical circumstances can have vastly dissimilar levels of contentment. One is happy and the other is not. You can have a bias for depression or a bias for happiness. When you get up each morning you will make a pre-decision for or against happiness.

Every person who succeeds in life does so by persevering in the face of adversity and by continually applying themselves to their vision. No one comes into this earth with their talents and abilities fully functional, but instead they dedicate years of their lives to developing them. Faith is a necessity for your purpose to come to fruition. Remember, faith doesn’t make things easy, it makes things possible.

When you are fed a steady diet of cynicism and skepticism, it may be hard to speak anything positive. This constant intake of negativity affects your perspective and your communication. The way you see things is what you come to believe about them.

If you are progressive in your thinking, then always enduring and overcoming challenges is the evolution of your unadulterated self. You are more powerful when you know who you are, and you are then more courageous. Once you conquer one mountain, you will know that another one stands in your way. Every time you have a top of the mountain experience, you then find yourself at the bottom of another mountain. Life is full of challenges, and dreams make the journey that much more pleasurable when achieved.

The key to living your dream is meeting limited circumstances with thoughts without limits. It’s not about how little you have; it is about the amazing things you can do with what you do have. Jesus turned 2 fish and five loaves of bread into a full course meal for 5,000 men, and He fed 4,000 with 7 loaves of bread and fish. It’s not about how much you have; it is about God’s ability residing in you to multiply what you have.

Stake claim to your dream and stop haphazardly pursuing something you were created to do. The present moment is the only time there is. No matter what time it is, both the past and future exist when you bring them into your present moment. You can decide to live your life from your past pain or you can live forward. Understand this moment, NOW! Now is the accepted time, not tomorrow. There’s nothing more powerful than a person who knows how to contain and control their personal power and not let it seep out.

Every time the present moment is ignored, there is enormous loss; and every time the present moment is seized there is immense gain. If a person advances with self-confidence in the direction of his or her dreams, and believes they are possible, and endeavors to live the life which he or she has imagined, they will meet with uncommon success at an unforeseen hour.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

The Part Faith Plays In Life And Business

121414-blog-postIf luck is a major factor in life and business success, then effort and developing an unbreakable work habit is a waste of time and energy.

Are you unconsciously sabotaging your own success because somewhere in your subconscious you believe there are people who have had a little extra gold dust sprinkled on them than you have? If this is the case, a person with expectations to enter the world of business might as well just get ready to roll the dice or spend the roulette wheel. In either case, according to some rich celebrities, you’ll be lucky just to have some luck.

I don’t believe in luck; however, I do believe in faith. I strongly believe faith in life and business plays a vital part of any accomplishment. Whether success comes from installing a competent team of people around you or studying the trends and buying habits of groups in your region—success is neither chance nor unintentional. And, we who are successful owe it to our protégés and followers, to present them with the hard true facts that life doesn’t happen without their input.

The days of sitting on the sidelines hoping to have some success without applying your head with your heart are over. It’s tougher than ever before to experience phenomenal success. However, success without the ‘phenomenal’ attached to it is relativity easy; but I must warn you that some elbow grease is required. Faith is necessary in life, luck isn’t. Chance is nothing but prior mental training and developed life patterns, which creates for a person the propensity to make decisions, which place them in a place they call good luck or bad luck. In actuality, it wasn’t good luck or bad luck at all, but rather a well developed mental profile which created life’s trends.

Faith is a powerful force. Life cannot exist without faith. It doesn’t take luck to build a skyscraper; it requires knowledge and belief in one’s own dream that enables building a towering skyscraper to be possible. Imagine seeing acreages of undeveloped land with your natural eyes. However, you look again and you see houses, communities, businesses, etc. Are you seeing this with your natural vision, or are you seeing it with what some may call ‘your mind’s eye?’

Take a moment, use your imagination and think of yourself as an architect. An architect is anybody who designs, invents, creates, or engineers anything from buildings to computers, from music to business concepts, and from communications to weapons of war. From whence did their creativity emerge to produce such brilliant products and services? It came from their hearts and their faith to turn their dreams into the material of reality.

You are a prime mover. You were created to be that way, but somewhere along life’s process, you were unintentionally programmed by parents, teachers, ministers, and friends who told you all you can be in life is some cheap copy of someone’s great original. Therefore, people are always thinking of duplication. However, someone had to originally come up with the first idea. I’m not saying that you can’t take someone’s product or services and improve it. What I am suggesting to you is why not produce what God placed in you? There will never be a person on this planet like you, that makes it unequivocally clear that you are an original. If this is true, which I believe it is, you have residing in you exactly what you are; original ideas.

Now listen, faith doesn’t make life or business easy; it makes them possible. Have faith in the Architect of architects. You were created after His likeness and His similitude and He is fully aware of your capabilities, but are you! Stop trying to produce for your life what you see in the life of others. Your life is unique and so are your ideas. God gave you life, but you made your life what it is. If you continue to pursue someone else’s dream as your own, you will also encounter the problems they have encountered to get where they are.

You cannot live Richard Branson’s dream, but you can live yours. Ask the Architect to give you clarity of your dreams, purpose and destiny; and I’m certain He will make it plain to you.

LIVE BY FAITH NOT BY LUCK!

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.