Be Careful What You Ask For…!

MB_textImagine being blind from birth—never been able to see, and you’re trying to describe a person’s features. Or, perhaps you’re deaf from birth and you’ve never been able to use your imagination to try to imagine what sounds are like. When sight is given or sounds are realized, how do you think you would then view your life, the world and the people around you?

The gift of sight and sound is a phenomenal ability that opens the world to you in so many ways. Think of the beauty of the various flowers, the mountains, the ocean and seas, the trees and the stars in the universe. I assure you that the sounds would be equally as incredible when you hear the roaring waters of the ocean pushed by the wind, the voices of those you love, the amazing sounds of instruments and singing voices, and finally, the greatest three words ever spoken in human history; I Love You! How much would those three words mean to you now that you can see the person who says them to you?

Let me help you with the true ability and gift of sight and sound by starting with a simple question. What features would be considered beautiful if you have never been able to see and define for yourself, what is beautiful? Would color or race matter if there were no words that could be heard or image that could be viewed?

Let me tell you a story of a blind and deaf man who encountered a man with amazing ability. This man could communicate to the deaf and blind man relatively easily. The man with such incredible gifting granted the man three desires of his heart.

The deaf and blind man was amazed how he could understand this amazing gentleman and communicate what he really desired in his heart. He pointed towards his eyes, indicating that he wanted to see. When the gifted gentleman granted his desire by opening his eyes, the deaf and blind man was mirthful and in awe of what he could see. He looked at the different people, and every one of them was beautiful.

The man once blind went everywhere touching everything he could see, however, his understanding was still in a world of silence. He went back to the man with amazing ability and pointed towards his ear. The gentleman granted his second wish. Suddenly, with the same excitement he expressed about his sight, he becomes just as jubilant about his ability to now hear. The sounds are incredible, voices are melodious and to put sound with what he is now able to see was incredible.

A year passed and he came back to the man with this incredible gift and asked if his third wish can be granted. The gentleman said “Sure, what would you like me to do for you?” The person who experienced these awesome gifts said, “Please make me the way I was before I met you.” The gentleman said, “Why on earth would you want that?”

The man said, “When I first experienced sight and sound, everything was beautiful and great. Then, I saw the ugly side of people that I thought was incredible. I heard words that depicted prejudice, hatred, lies, and words too vulgar to mention. I saw the homeless, the battered women and abused children, and after hearing and being able to see, I experienced a world without peace. When I couldn’t see nor hear, my heart was at peace, and God was with me all alone. However, my peaceful world became violent, discouraging, and even hopeless. Sir, make me the way I was, and I will be content in the world without sight and sound—and God will be enough for me.

Sometimes, we end up getting just what we’ve always wanted, but when we see what comes with it, it oftentimes unwelcoming. Learn to be content at whatever station you are in life, and remember life doesn’t have to be for you what it seems to be for others.

It is harder to be what you are not, than who you really are. A person trying will experience stress and toil because it takes a lot to hang on to an image that is not you. However, a person will experience zero stress and labor by simply letting go. Holding on takes energy, letting go uses next to no strength at all. DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY!

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

How To Make A Monster First Impression

08-10-14-blog-postHumans are creatures of habits, and unfortunately many of these habits are undetectable and often unintentional. How many times have you been informed not to judge a book by its cover, only to feel helpless in trying to prevent such a prejudgment? In a nutshell, prejudice is actually judging the contents of the book by reviewing the cover.

There is a difference between judgment and prejudice. A judgment is the process of forming an opinion or making a decision that is based on careful thought and consideration. However, prejudice is an unfair preconceived adverse opinion or inclination formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge is acquired, which breeds feelings of an irrational attitude or a hostility of dislike directed toward a person or group because of physical appearance, race, religion, association, etc.

When going into an interview and/or meeting someone for the first time, it is important to remember that you most likely have the same bad habits of judging people before ever getting to know them. So, think of the fact that people have a propensity to make snap judgments, and they make them incredibly fast and find them difficult to change.

First impressions are from 100 milliseconds to three seconds max, and this initial impression has a tendency to cling to the cerebral cortex of the brain. This is the outer layer of the frontal parts of the brains cerebral hemispheres. Its functions include the perception of sensations, learning, reasoning, and memory. In other words, first impressions are extremely sticky. First impressions are like mud thrown against a white wall—it may not always stick to the wall, but it will leave a stain.

Imagine wearing the hat of a job interviewer and meeting Frankenstein for the first time coming in for a job interview. Your company is hiring for a Head Security position, but the criteria for the position is vague and not written out well. Your secretary feels slightly intimidated by the size and appearance of Frankenstein standing in front of her as she calls you on the intercom to let you know your next interview is ready. You ask your secretary about any additional forms Frankenstein may have brought to the interview. You slightly whisper, “How does he look?” She sounds vague because he’s standing in front of her. She replies, Sir, can I bring him in now?” Your reply is “Yes bring him in.” Well, as your secretary opens your office door, you rise to greet your interviewee and you find yourself having to fight to keep from starring at him, even though you know you are to look him in the eyes. In this case, the interviewer has nothing to be concerned about, but the interviewee does.

How do you properly and aptly make a good, or if possible, a great impression when meeting a person of the opposite sex, a new business contact or a job interviewer? Think of this, can Frankenstein reduce his height? Can he change how big his hands or feet are? Is he able to remove the electrical receptacles on his neck? No, he cannot change any of those physical attributes; but, he can accept who he is and strongly believe in what he is capable of doing. With this belief firmly set in his mind and heart, he will be able to address any person without any intrinsic apprehensions about his physicality.

Apply these few tips and advice I’m offering Frankenstein who is looking to improve his initial impression on the interviewer. These few suggestions apply to practically anyone, and just about any situation. Here are a few of my personal, yet professional insights:

1. Don’t ignore the elephant in the room.

You are the elephant and you should be completely aware, by now, of some of the misgivings people have when they initially meet you. Usually people won’t initially see you the way you see yourself. So, you should always have an opening line when people notice the obvious about you. For instance: I recall meeting a young man who was about 6’8 and of a slender build. I immediately asked him the obvious question, “Do you play basketball?” “That’s often a misconception people have about me,” he said with a smile. His reply for a young man was not only comical but it relieved my own apprehension.

Frankenstein doesn’t have to make a circus out of his physicality, but he should be secure enough about himself to realize he has an advantage interviewing for a Head Security position. Once the initial 3 seconds have passed, opening his mouth to articulate his intelligence about the position would usually be what will cause the interviewer’s perception to immediately change to a more favorable consideration.

By Frankenstein presenting his initial line with a smile, and intelligently answering the interviewer’s questions by articulating his thoughts concerning his capabilities, and how he can help organize security for the company, will usually works to diffuse any apprehensions the interviewer might have. The interviewer will feel comfortable, relax his walls of pre-judgment, and most likely, select Frankenstein for the Head Security position.

2. Let them talk first but you should always have the last word.

Frankenstein should turn off all impulses to speak about his abilities and accomplishments until asked. Even when he is asked about his skills, he should have a mentally prepared way of communicating what his skills are without going into a long dissertation. You want the interviewer to trust you, so help them to trust that you are a good listener. The interviewer should always be given the floor by the interviewee.

When the interviewer is practically done with his series of questions, the interviewer will usually ask if you have any questions. Frankenstein should always have a question, even if he feels most of his concerns were answered. A question shows your interest in the position and your willingness to learn more about the company’s agenda. Your last words before exiting the interviewer’s office should demonstrate a kind gesture of thanks and appreciation. One quick note: make sure your eye contact is subtle not a wide-eyed staring which can cause the interviewer to feel uncomfortable.

3. Become a chameleon.

Maintain the speed of the interviewer when communicating. If the interviewer speaks slowly, slow your speech down slightly to match the speech pattern of the interviewer. If the interviewer speaks with a sense of energy, put some oomph in your talk. If the interviewer speaks a little fast, try speaking a little faster than your norm, but not so fast that you’re tripping over your words.

People like people who are like themselves. When they are excited, you display excitement, when they seem melancholy, you become sympathetic but uplifting. You’ll be surprised how slightly mimicking a person in an initial meeting will cause them to feel quite comfortable around you. You never, however, want to appear as if you are competing or that you are a threat to their position. Pay attention to those ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ when you are speaking, as they are usually fillers when you are reaching for words. These two little fillers can cause you to sound uninformed or as if you are making something up. Stay a notch lower than the interviewer so that after the interview they can’t wait to speak to everyone about their interview with you. Before you know it, everyone in the company will be looking forward to meeting you…though you haven’t yet been notified that you have the job.

My advice to Frankenstein is not at all condescending but simple and serving in nature: Who can forget a monster with wit, intelligence, and a sense of humor?

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1887010009&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1936400995&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1937134709&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.