What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

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The Balance of Success

MB Text 7-12-2015 (Balance Success)Faith is the power link to every seeable impossible desirable endeavor you may encounter. If balance is the key to life, then, faith is the power of life, and patience is the virtue of life. It is quite easy to talk about how one’s life needs balance; but how to achieve it has escaped the majority of people.

Achieving balance can be difficult because it involves knowledge, wisdom, tenacity, and action, and some people may lack adequacy in one or more of these qualities. In your Bible, the book of James says that we must not be hearers of the word only, but also doers of the word. This is where the problem comes into the equation. Most people are good at hearing to a degree, but lousy at doing. Balance, then, is formed out of sound and unbiased advice and guidance from a creditable source, and then immediately made actionable.

Faith is the power of life because it produces the ability to be tenacious. Power is power; it has no alternative to its strength and supremacy. Faith rests in its own pool of authority, and it is the force behind every movement and action. Patience is the virtue of life. It is the quality of character and the strategy to winning. Patience is needed in order to qualify the balance in one’s life, or else everything will be done in life without forethought and purpose.

Since most people are good at hearing instructions but terrible when it comes to follow through, failure is frequently inevitable. Balance is not leveling every quality off to the same degree; it is placing the importance on each quality regardless of its magnitude. When balance is achieved, it looks like the display on an equalizer component. Therefore, perfect harmony is realized because balance has been accomplished. This kind of action results not only in life becoming manageable, but also in success as being practical. There is nothing more attractive to God than a breathing faith.

Your life is at its finest when you become entrenched and completely invested in the effort but unattached from the results. I realized how difficult this can be, but it’s possible. This is the place where you are intimate with your personal power because you realize that the expedition and the exertion are important. There is a place you arrive where you must draw a line in the sand and let go of that something which has to lead you to a new position, or to a certain person loving you, or it has to lead to you making a lot of money. When your desires are discombobulated or targeted towards you feeling better about yourself, you actually become disempowered by making the goal the consummate.

I believe the goal has to do with the process itself. In reality, the end is inherited in the means. Who you are when you put forth the effort is more important than what you want to become at the end of your effort. If you are totally convinced you have nothing left in you after your effort, how can you not be content with the outcome?

Understanding the balance to success is not winning every battle or achieving every goal. It is what knowledge you are to acquire, or what skill you are to develop, or what corrections you are to make from each skirmish or attempt at something, regardless of the outcome, so that you are more prepared for the next endeavor.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

What Motivates The Dreamer?

MB Text 7-3-2015 (Motivate, Dreamer)People who have dreams and believe in them usually live longer lives than people who don’t. When you have a dream to live, you are better off than the person who has to live with no dream at all. You will have a different kind of energy about you. Not only are you extending your life, but you are adding life to your years, making it more enjoyable. This is when you understand your dream is not optional—it’s necessary.

A person with a dream who doesn’t have any ump to make it happen really doesn’t believe in their dream. It’s not that they wouldn’t love to fulfill their dream; they just don’t love it enough to surrender all of their faculties to making it happen.

What do you believe is missing when a person just can’t seem to muster the energy necessary to create ways to live their dream? If you don’t know, I do. One of the most powerfully creative tools given to human beings, is the ability to use imagination. And, yet, imagination is not the answer. Rather, it’s what imagination unlocks when the right image is visible through a person’s mind’s eye. Let me spell it out for you, MOTIVATION. When a person is missing the feeling of enthusiasm, interest, or the sense of commitment which causes people to have a reason, or incentive to accomplish something; they are generally missing is what is commonly known as motivation.

Below is an excerpt from my soon to be released book, entitled, TURN ON YOUR LIFE, which I believe can help a person identify that gut feeling when it comes to living out dreams.

“When you know someone else has done what you are endeavoring to accomplish, then you know you can do it too. It’s easy to see someone else do something and then believe you can do it. But what happens when there is no record of anyone ever accomplishing or even attempting what your dream has inspired you to do? Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise be important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Do you have that feeling deep in your gut that it’s time to go for it, to tackle the one thing you’ve waited your whole life to make happen? You realize you can no longer fight that feeling, that thought—when you feel you are against the odds, even though someone else has already done what you aspire to accomplish, and you have that belief, that drive and determination that you can do it too. This crazy feeling swimming around inside your gut is the audacity that will keep you strong and persistent, always challenging yourself to do it. When you have a real-to-life dream, it becomes necessary that you live this dream.”

Excerpt from TURN ON YOUR LIFE, chapter “Get Motivated”, by Dr. Mikel Brown.

Believe it or not, 90% of the world’s population shares the same problem of inconsistency. Inconsistency is normal for most people. Normalcy for most people is sitting back and waiting for things to happen. If this is you, and you want to change, you have to deliberately break the habit of being inconsistent, which erodes your dreams and pollutes your efforts.

Stand up, stay up, and don’t give up! You can change so easily by simply changing the image in your mind. Your imagination is the key to your drive and persistence. All accomplishments were birthed out of the womb of imagination. See yourself fighting for your dream, living your dream, and defending your right to enjoy, without apology, the privilege of even having a dream.

Your imagination holds the key to your motivation. If you can dream it, it’s meant to be. If you can see it, it’s actually real, and if you can live it, you will enjoy it.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Change Yourself Before Change Changes You

MB Text 4-17-2015 (Change)If there is one thing constant in an endless series of episodes throughout one’s life; it is change. The objective or purpose of a person should never change, but the strategy to obtain it must frequently be modified or tweaked. Unforeseen challenges may require one to rethink and rework their strategy to tackle obstacles or struggles, which might otherwise, cripple efforts and negate objectives. It is important for a person to not be foreign to, or intimidated by change, so their approach to dealing with extenuating circumstances can be handled skillfully, and with thoughtful consideration.

Oftentimes, people sit back on their laurels without considering that the success they may have experienced yesterday, in most cases, is not adequate for motivating them to seek and pioneer new territories. Therefore, instead of continuing to seek new ways to keep their lives and businesses fresh and relevant, they become blind to their indifference to change. It is at this point, where life ends up making choices for people while forcing upon them a ‘must’ choice for which they are ill-prepared, both mentally and spiritually, to make on their own. If you, by choice, are not the mid-wife of the emerging newness waiting to envelop your life, your efforts are inadvertently helping to sustain your old way of life.

While one portion of your dream can be crumbling, another part of it may be budding; seeking to be born. One phase of your life can be on the verge of total collapse, while another segment of your life is struggling to gain access and existence into your world. My advice to you is to learn and practice the profession of a midwife. This way, you will know how to deliver even those dreams that are breach coming through the birth canal.

Change is inevitable and so are choices. It is better to change life on your own terms, into what you want it to be, rather than wait for circumstances to force change in your life which produces undesirable results.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

Too often, I have heard people refer to situations as being able to somehow work themselves out; as if they can correct themselves? I have never seen a mess clean itself up, nor have I ever encountered a solution to a problem not deriving from a person. When something is maintaining instead of thriving, it is slowly dying.

I spoke with a gentleman who told me his 92 year old grandmother had recently died. He said his grandmother worked until she was 87 and stayed active until she was 91. He said the moment she became inactive, she died. The same thing usually happens to people who are young and goalless. There is a 74 year old man who is able to bench press almost three times his weight, and if you were to see him, you would know that he must love life. On the other hand, there is a 29 year old man who is perfectly healthy, but mentally, he is slowing dying. He acts as if he has no energy, he has no dreams, and he’s always complaining about how life seems to have dealt him a bad hand. This young man is just as dead at 29 as the older woman was at 92.

Life requires action! Change is necessary for life to be fluent and graceful. My friend, rehearsal is over, the curtain is open and the lights are on; now live! Don’t lock change out; embrace it, own it, and use it according to your terms. Do not allow change to change your life without your approval.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Don’t Suppress What You Possess: An Excerpt from Dr. Brown’s New Book MAXIMIZE YOURSELF (Coming Soon)

PossessOne day, I was listening to a speech by Dr. Ben Carson, the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, who said something that caught my attention. He said that when he was a young boy, whenever he had a problem, he would be apprehensive about going to his mother for an answer. He knew that with his question, she would ask him a question, such as, “Son, do you have a brain?” He knew that when he would answer with a resounding yes, she would then say, “Well, go figure it out!” This was the beginning of his quest for knowledge and his pursuit of wisdom. We often ask God for things He has already given to us. Our challenge only exists because what we have isn’t immediately identifiable or we are looking for something else other than the thing we are asking God for which He has weaved into the fabric of our being.

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