What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0071771328&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0671027034&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0785214259&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

The Dominant Quality In Leaders Of Distinction

MB Text 8-14-2015 (Leadership Qualities)It’s no secret that corporations look for prolific leaders to drive the corporate success van. This means putting the right person in the right role and surrounding that person with the right personnel. By doing so, corporate decision makers can increase the chances of producing a profit for its investors and show significant growth by the end of the year. So, what should their question be before starting their hunt for such a person(s)?

The primary question should not be, “Who is a difference maker?” Rather, it should be, “What qualities make one a difference maker?” Once this is established, the manhunt can begin since the search will narrow in on qualities rather than a person. Many mistakes have been made by people in search of the one person they believe can help change things for them or their team. Whether corporate or personal, judging and sizing up a person based on their present condition, or outward appearance, may prove to be impractical.

People who possess qualities which make them stand out aren’t as easily discernable. One reason, is they are not ambitious, nor do they have need of a title to define them. You may find a person who knows how to say the right words and is an over achiever, but lacks discipline and integrity. The person who is truly a difference maker is more interested in the quality of their work, than their work looking as though it has quality.

Let me explain what I consider to be an attribute. An attribute is a quality or characteristic of someone or something which gives credit for things such as a body of work, art, or a saying. An attribute can be considered a standard or conviction which causes a person to stand out. Imagine being in the company of difference makers who care about making a difference in society and in the lives of others.

What do you have when an entire team of people with difference maker qualities come together? What you have is a winning combination who can never be defeated. A difference maker is someone who is willing and able to fill all aspects of their role with confidence, who consistently delivers on objectives, and who follows or leads their team to peak performance. They understand their role is as essential as the next man’s. In many cases, a difference maker shakes things up, brings forth change, and demands results from themselves and their colleagues. They aren’t interested in being popular; they want success for the company or team even if it means not leading. With this attitude they will hit their targets and inspire their teams to do the same.

Difference makers are self-motivated. Difference makers are honest, they don’t cover up mistakes, and they are completely accountable for what works and what doesn’t work. They take full responsibility for their actions and results. You can’t tell if these people are difference makers by looking at them; their qualities are exposed by interacting with them. They are proactive, solution-oriented, and take-action people. Their values align with those of their organization or team, and these values drive day-to-day behaviors to pursue excellence.

How does a company, small business, or individual find a Difference Maker? Well, you can’t find them in the Yellow Pages. In the brawl for gifted able bodies, the challenges most organizations face are not limited to the simple unavailability of competent people. The hiring process is not set up to properly identify those who can truly make a difference. Focusing only on the skills and experience needed, the interviewer often pays too little attention to values, motivations, habits, work styles, behaviors, and cognitive abilities. Stop qualifying a person for where your company presently is, and start looking for those individuals who may not have all the skills, but who are willing to be molded into the person you need, not just want. Don’t look for the mate who completes you, look for the person who complements you.

Companies should design employment programs to become mentors to their employees instead of employers. Difference Makers are developed into their role not fit into it.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0785281126&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0849996597&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1400314208&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

4 Non-Negotiable Qualities I Look For In Hiring

MB Text 6-7-2015 1(Business Hiring)There are certain qualities I look for in a person in which determines the kind of relationship I choose to have with them. I believe the degree of my personal relationships, whether professional or personal, are determined by the qualities I listed below. If you have a relationship with a person who does not add to promoting or improving your quality of life, than they are perhaps unintentionally diminishing it. These qualities will help employers as well as individuals who are interested in making the right choice of those they allow in their space.

Honesty

I look for integrity in a person’s life, because if you can’t trust a person, it is difficult to build a quality structural business or relationship. We live in a society where lying is a common practice, and no one seems to care unless they are the ones being lied to. In case you didn’t know, honesty is telling the truth. In other words, we conform our words to reality. On the other hand, integrity is conforming reality to our words. It is keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. Therefore, when I employ the term “honesty,” I am alluding to both honesty and integrity.

At the most basic level of human characteristics, an honest person does not lie. They will not exaggerate or misrepresent the facts. They do not withhold negative information. They will give you the good, the bad, and the ugly. They have the courage to face reality head-on and make their words conform to it. They would never ask someone else to lie on their behalf or to cover for them.

They are also honest in giving others feedback and they are able to be direct without being insensitive. They refuse to create unnecessary drama, and they do not say anything about those who are absent that they wouldn’t say if they were present.

Humility

An unassuming person doesn’t mean they are egotistical in a quiet way. A person with the characteristic of humility has a good sense of him or herself. They do not think more highly of themselves than they should which deals with pride, nor do they think lower of themselves than they ought which lends itself to having a poor self-esteem. They are sober-minded and usually unruffled by compliments, having a realistic grip on their strengths and weaknesses.

It is important to this person not to exhibit a life of self-importance, thinking that the world center’s around them. They may display determination and get-up-and-go for the cause, for the company, or for the team, but they are not ambitious for themselves. They are not overly-concerned about titles, status, or position in comparison to others.

Proactive

A proactive person takes a practical, hands-on approach to life. They are hungry and single-minded with an appetite for accomplishment. Metaphorically speaking, their last meal or last accomplishment is already a fading memory. They know what they want and they want it now. They are not impatient, just eager. They are looking for the next project, the next challenge or the next obstacle so they can figure it out like a Rubik’s cube.

They don’t spend their time dwelling on past accomplishments. They realize life is about living and living is about activity or movement. If a person isn’t moving, they must be dead. They are always reaching for more—setting higher goals. This is the kind of person who is driven to exceed whatever expectations have been imposed upon them. This is just a part of their make-up. They love figuring something out, especially if they have had no prior knowledge of it.

A hungry proactive person is intellectually curious. They read regularly —newspapers, magazines, and books. They love learning new things and sharing what they’ve learned with others. They can’t just sit around because it would just about kill them—not in a literal sense.

A proactive person will come to a meeting prepared, having completed his or her assignment. In the meeting, they are active listeners, asking questions and taking notes. They are not intimidated by the apathy of others or the views of others because of their active involvement and concern about getting the much needed information to do a job correctly. After the meeting, they follow up. They complete their assignments on-time without someone having to prod them to do so. They are relentless when it comes to execution. Although this is an admirable trait, others working around them are sometimes disturbed because their high-powered standards exposes the low standards they may govern their lives by.

Resolute Thinker

This is a person who is not afraid of making decisions. However, unlike strong-minded and sometimes unbendable people, the resolute thinker is one who makes calculated decisions. He or she believes rather mentally, orally, or by written annotation that collecting data is a necessity. They can easily spot a person ill prepared for their task, or a product part that is faulty or sub-standard. They will never sell or offer such a sub-quality product for the sake of a sell.

A Resolute Thinker is usually a person who exercises initiative and is very resourceful. This person is mainly resolution oriented and secondarily results responsive. In other words, to solve a problem is more important than getting the results, which may eventually reveal a lack of prioritizing for a company. He or she will work better in customer service or human resource departments. They are good at reading personalities and good at helping people figure out what they want. If you are an employer, put this person in front as a representative, and your rewards will be returned by an enormous amount of compliments.

For the employer who is looking for a good employee, these standards should be non-negotiable. It’s hard to find the buried treasure unless you have a map. It’s difficult to win a scavenger hunt unless you have a list. And, it’s impossible to hire the right people unless you know exactly what you are looking for.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1591845394&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1591843480&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0671027034&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

Change Yourself Before Change Changes You

MB Text 4-17-2015 (Change)If there is one thing constant in an endless series of episodes throughout one’s life; it is change. The objective or purpose of a person should never change, but the strategy to obtain it must frequently be modified or tweaked. Unforeseen challenges may require one to rethink and rework their strategy to tackle obstacles or struggles, which might otherwise, cripple efforts and negate objectives. It is important for a person to not be foreign to, or intimidated by change, so their approach to dealing with extenuating circumstances can be handled skillfully, and with thoughtful consideration.

Oftentimes, people sit back on their laurels without considering that the success they may have experienced yesterday, in most cases, is not adequate for motivating them to seek and pioneer new territories. Therefore, instead of continuing to seek new ways to keep their lives and businesses fresh and relevant, they become blind to their indifference to change. It is at this point, where life ends up making choices for people while forcing upon them a ‘must’ choice for which they are ill-prepared, both mentally and spiritually, to make on their own. If you, by choice, are not the mid-wife of the emerging newness waiting to envelop your life, your efforts are inadvertently helping to sustain your old way of life.

While one portion of your dream can be crumbling, another part of it may be budding; seeking to be born. One phase of your life can be on the verge of total collapse, while another segment of your life is struggling to gain access and existence into your world. My advice to you is to learn and practice the profession of a midwife. This way, you will know how to deliver even those dreams that are breach coming through the birth canal.

Change is inevitable and so are choices. It is better to change life on your own terms, into what you want it to be, rather than wait for circumstances to force change in your life which produces undesirable results.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

Too often, I have heard people refer to situations as being able to somehow work themselves out; as if they can correct themselves? I have never seen a mess clean itself up, nor have I ever encountered a solution to a problem not deriving from a person. When something is maintaining instead of thriving, it is slowly dying.

I spoke with a gentleman who told me his 92 year old grandmother had recently died. He said his grandmother worked until she was 87 and stayed active until she was 91. He said the moment she became inactive, she died. The same thing usually happens to people who are young and goalless. There is a 74 year old man who is able to bench press almost three times his weight, and if you were to see him, you would know that he must love life. On the other hand, there is a 29 year old man who is perfectly healthy, but mentally, he is slowing dying. He acts as if he has no energy, he has no dreams, and he’s always complaining about how life seems to have dealt him a bad hand. This young man is just as dead at 29 as the older woman was at 92.

Life requires action! Change is necessary for life to be fluent and graceful. My friend, rehearsal is over, the curtain is open and the lights are on; now live! Don’t lock change out; embrace it, own it, and use it according to your terms. Do not allow change to change your life without your approval.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

[amazon asin=1930388179&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0471735388&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=0385528752&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown] [amazon asin=1590770587&template=image&chan=dr. mikel brown]
The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.

Come let’s talk some more about this, comment your thoughts below.

The Secret To Discovering Solutions

solutions-post-630 Are you overlooking the solution by only focusing on the problem? Understanding the origin of life’s situations holds the key to discovering solutions to every problem.

Continue reading “The Secret To Discovering Solutions”

What is Your Attitude When Things Go Wrong?

Wrong Attitude
When Things Go Wrong…
Perhaps you are like me, feeling as though you have heard all the clichés about how you should watch your attitude when you are going through unfortunate and tough situations. These expressions sound good, but when you hear phrases such as, “Instead of spending your time thinking about how bad things are, think about how good they can become” or “attitude is everything”, you just want to slam the person who says it. Nevertheless, the truth of the matter is that your attitude does play an important part in how you will go through those tough times.

Continue reading “What is Your Attitude When Things Go Wrong?”

Why Great Leaders Are Great Team Players

Team PlayersYour Opportunity For Success Is About To Expire If You Don’t Do This ONE Thing!

Are You A Part Of A Team, Or A Part Of The Problem Causing A Team To Fall Apart? Being able to touch your dream is the consequence of pulling together people who can help you live it. Have you ever met someone who seems to have all the qualities for getting a job done, but they lack the essentials to pull together quality people to help them complete the work they’ve started. This is when the cleverness and resourcefulness of a good leader should come into play. Understanding one’s own gift is important, but recognizing and knowing how to incorporate the gifts of others is extremely important. No “one man” can do any job alone.

Continue reading “Why Great Leaders Are Great Team Players”