What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Communication1Does what you say matter more than how you say it? This is the age-old question that many people have concerning verbal communication. This dilemma seems to arrest people as they are trying to verbalize their feelings in order to get their point across. There is a huge discrepancy between the way people generally process the information they hear as opposed to the way they communicate their thoughts. Factors often exist when there is a breakdown in the communication process that are often overlooked such as culture, ethnicity, education, economics, a person’s mental condition, preferences, etc. These factors should not be undermined as though they are not important to proper communication. If a person desires to get their point across without causing a ruckus, it will prove to be a wise investment of time to learn communication skills. Especially if you are married, where most of your communication battles will occur, this is the ideal dialogue for you.

The Communicator’s Aim:
The person communicating should immediately take into account the aforementioned factors. This is not an assumption of one’s intelligence, but rather wisdom. The communicator’s aim should be to be understood. If a person attends any of my business conclaves, they can easily discern that I do not use big words to try to impress the people in attendance. My aim is not to impress, but to impress upon them the importance of the information given. I like to hold my audiences with my verbal skills not lose them.

Communication Problems in Marriage:
When married couples have communication problems, it is usually because they have established a non-verbal communication basis that they have not mastered. Assumptions are made because of previous misunderstanding and therefore instead of clearly communicating their thoughts to one another they give out singles that are rarely caught or understood. If you find yourself often saying, “I thought you meant…,” this response is an indication that you clearly have a communication problem.

A Communication Problem:
Some years back, there was a movie that Paul Newman starred in entitled, Cool Hand Luke. The character Paul Newman was playing was a rebel young man that often found himself in trouble with the law. He ended up in a back-woods prison surrounded by swamp and venomous snakes. The Warden would often inform the prisoners that if they tried to escape, they would both be recaptured and returned to be brutally beaten to serve as a reminder to not attempt to escape again or the swamp would kill them before they could escape to freedom. One day, Paul Newman’s character escaped, but was later captured and returned to the prison to resume his sentence. This is when the Warden spoke the famous phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” As a young man, I loved the phrase but I did not fully understand it until later in my years. What was meant was if you continue to do the opposite of what is spoken, obviously there is a misunderstanding.

Body Language Speaks Loudly:
Oftentimes, when words or phrases are misunderstood, it is usually because what is said may have a different meaning or connotation to the listener. The second reason for the possible misunderstanding could be, and in most cases is, when what is said does not correspond with the tone and facial expression when it was spoken. Therefore, the person may not have heard what you said because they were engulfed by how you said it. This is a major problem in marriage and sometimes in business board meetings. Identifying the problem is a third of the solution. However, knowing what to do with your new discovery is another part of the solution. Having the humility to place priority on the importance of getting and receiving an understanding, is far better and advantageous than gratifying your frustrations.

Clarification of a Solution:
Take your time, be patient, because the person you may be talking to, may have a legitimate hearing impairment. Communication is the basis to life. General simple verbiage gives you a far better percentage of being understood than speaking in an extra extensive vocabulary that may not impress anyone but you.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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Be Careful What You Ask For…!

MB_textImagine being blind from birth—never been able to see, and you’re trying to describe a person’s features. Or, perhaps you’re deaf from birth and you’ve never been able to use your imagination to try to imagine what sounds are like. When sight is given or sounds are realized, how do you think you would then view your life, the world and the people around you?

The gift of sight and sound is a phenomenal ability that opens the world to you in so many ways. Think of the beauty of the various flowers, the mountains, the ocean and seas, the trees and the stars in the universe. I assure you that the sounds would be equally as incredible when you hear the roaring waters of the ocean pushed by the wind, the voices of those you love, the amazing sounds of instruments and singing voices, and finally, the greatest three words ever spoken in human history; I Love You! How much would those three words mean to you now that you can see the person who says them to you?

Let me help you with the true ability and gift of sight and sound by starting with a simple question. What features would be considered beautiful if you have never been able to see and define for yourself, what is beautiful? Would color or race matter if there were no words that could be heard or image that could be viewed?

Let me tell you a story of a blind and deaf man who encountered a man with amazing ability. This man could communicate to the deaf and blind man relatively easily. The man with such incredible gifting granted the man three desires of his heart.

The deaf and blind man was amazed how he could understand this amazing gentleman and communicate what he really desired in his heart. He pointed towards his eyes, indicating that he wanted to see. When the gifted gentleman granted his desire by opening his eyes, the deaf and blind man was mirthful and in awe of what he could see. He looked at the different people, and every one of them was beautiful.

The man once blind went everywhere touching everything he could see, however, his understanding was still in a world of silence. He went back to the man with amazing ability and pointed towards his ear. The gentleman granted his second wish. Suddenly, with the same excitement he expressed about his sight, he becomes just as jubilant about his ability to now hear. The sounds are incredible, voices are melodious and to put sound with what he is now able to see was incredible.

A year passed and he came back to the man with this incredible gift and asked if his third wish can be granted. The gentleman said “Sure, what would you like me to do for you?” The person who experienced these awesome gifts said, “Please make me the way I was before I met you.” The gentleman said, “Why on earth would you want that?”

The man said, “When I first experienced sight and sound, everything was beautiful and great. Then, I saw the ugly side of people that I thought was incredible. I heard words that depicted prejudice, hatred, lies, and words too vulgar to mention. I saw the homeless, the battered women and abused children, and after hearing and being able to see, I experienced a world without peace. When I couldn’t see nor hear, my heart was at peace, and God was with me all alone. However, my peaceful world became violent, discouraging, and even hopeless. Sir, make me the way I was, and I will be content in the world without sight and sound—and God will be enough for me.

Sometimes, we end up getting just what we’ve always wanted, but when we see what comes with it, it oftentimes unwelcoming. Learn to be content at whatever station you are in life, and remember life doesn’t have to be for you what it seems to be for others.

It is harder to be what you are not, than who you really are. A person trying will experience stress and toil because it takes a lot to hang on to an image that is not you. However, a person will experience zero stress and labor by simply letting go. Holding on takes energy, letting go uses next to no strength at all. DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY!

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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Missing “U”

missing-u-postIt has been said, that if the letter ‘U’ were removed from the alphabet, the English language would lose over 3000 words. In defining what I believe is a critical element of creative, effective writing; I think about the famous quote from “Animal Farm”: “All words are equal, but some words are more equal than others.” Out from among the top ten most powerful words one can use in the English language, is one word that stands supreme. However, before I say what this word is, let me suggest to you that if the letter ‘U’ were absent from the English language, it would point to how psychological and indispensable some things are.


There are certain power words that hold more influence over our decision making process than others. Words like ‘Free’ or ‘New’ are powerful and they often influence the guiding principle for why we buy items. However, when it comes to a person’s name, especially in print, there is a wow factor that comes into play.

There is a word that I believe is unequivocally more powerful and equal than others, as was said in the movie “Animal Farm”, and that word is ‘YOU.’ Most people would rather say ‘You’ over ‘I’ because the ‘you’ word takes all the responsibility and/or focus off of them. The amazing power behind the word ‘you’ is that it could refer to anyone. When it is used in a speech or in copywriting, the word is so cleverly used that it causes a person to take stock of what is being shared.

Think of statements like; You are powerful!, You can do it!, You are amazing!, You can be great!, You can be rich!, or You are my hero!, etc. Can these words help facilitate a more powerful sense of self? Absolutely.

They say that people are dispensable and can easily be replaced. However, a person is indispensable and can never be replaced. People refer to plural, but a person is singular. You are so important to the natural balance of this universe, that if you were not here, millions of incidents would be missing from history. Think for one moment of how many people you have touched during your lifetime, how many lives you have inadvertently inspired, or the difference you have made in the lives of children. You may never know in this lifetime how people were touched by your life or words, or how many business ideas or inventions you may have inspired. It would be staggering how many lives would be different today if you were missing from the mind of God.

You are important, you are necessary, you are great, and if you feel that you are not, just think retrospectively of people in your life. Some people wouldn’t be married had you not introduced them to each other. The movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life” with James Stewart is one of my favorite movies, and it shows how important one single life can be on this Earth.

So when you think that you are insignificant, remember how many words would be missing if the letter ‘U’ was removed from the alphabet.


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Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The Art of Creative Speaking

Creative Speech
Create Your World
There is one thing that is constant throughout the history of humanity, and that is communication. The ability to speak is a faculty; to know what to say and how to say it is an art.

There are three intuitive ways by which humans communicate; gesture, deed, and word. Mastering these three areas of communication will be a phenomenal surplus for any person because of the doors that will be open to them. Actors and actresses study the art of acting which includes the ability to express the intended thought through their gestures as well as their words. Unfortunately, many people have not considered the importance of learning such a craft. The commoner who has been taught or self-tutored in the fine art of speech has been given the key to unlock many opportunities.


Certain jobs and high employment positions have literally been handed to people who exercised an ability to communicate effectively with their potential employer despite little or no education. Communicating well is not demonstrative by the use of big words, but in how words are used.

“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people.” –Jim Rohn

Great leaders have always been great orators, with a few exceptions. Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato were all Greek philosophers who understood that in order to express yourself in word; you must also learn the theatrics (gestures) as well. Hand gestures and body language is all a part of communicating when it comes to people understanding you. Words without gestures have a fifty percent chance of being misunderstood. People better understand you when they not only hear what you say, but they see how you say it.

Now we come to the all important part of communication which should be embraced and understood; there is power in words. There is no such thing as a powerless word. The use of words is the chief cause and material used to build your world. Words create worlds. The Bible says, “By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God.” What kind of world are you framing with your words? Do you understand the life you are now living is being experienced because you verbally spoke it out?

Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Meaning, your ability to use certain words that can cause death or life to certain instances is all in your use of words. Jesus said, “…the words I speak unto you are spirit and they are life.” The words are containers that either carry the spirit of death or the spirit of life. You can kill an opportunity with your words or you can kick down its door. Watch what you say, and say what you want in your heart.

The greatest thing a person can do is build the world of their dreams with their words. The second greatest thing a person can do is destroy their world with their words. Don’t allow your mouth to become a demolition crew; allow it be a construction company.


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Please write your comments below on how this article helped you. Use the Media Buttons to share with your friends.

Recommended Reading:

I frequently say, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers.” I strongly believe this statement; therefore, I have taken the time to recommend reading material that I believe will greatly benefit your life and business endeavors. Click the images to see more information or to order the books from Amazon.com.

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The materials are provided for your convenience and Dr. Brown will earn a small commission from Amazon when you purchase through the links provided above.